I am jealous of my partners past
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months now. When i first met him, he had just split up with his ex, they had a house together around the corner from where i live and they were in the process of selling it, he had been with her since he was 14yrs old and she is the only other girl he has ever had apart from me,i know that i should feel good about this, but it makes me feel like he will compare us in everyway, which he says that he doesnt and i do believe him but i cant stop thinking that. They did everything, got a house, got engaged, went on holidays etc.. at the start of our relationship it didnt bother me, but when i started to get feelings for him i became jealous of his past and his ex, i think that he had a better past than i did and alot more happy times and i am jealous of this and i feel like i am getting sloppy seconds as when we get a house it will be my first time and his second, and i wanted it to be his first time aswell, its like he has been round the block and im experiencing everything for the first time and he has done it all before so its not as special to him as it is to me,so he is not as excited about things as i am. This has made me become obssessed with his ex, and ive had to find everything out about her and i feel like a psycho, ive tried talking to him about it but he just says that i need to forget the past, i know this, i know all the things that i should be doing and shouldnt be doing, but i just cant get these horrible thoughts out of my head about him and his ex and its driving me insain.
It is understandable that you are upset by the situation.
However, the degree of you pain is far more that the cause.
My advice is to get to a professional counselor as soon as possible for help in ridding yourself of the destructive emotion.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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