He dropped the bombshell on me!!!
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old FemaleOk, I'll try to make this brief as a possibly. About a year and half ago I met this guy. And there was an immediate connection. We took things slow and just enjoyed being w/ another. It was on of those connections in where your w/ the person and the time just stops, a connection that you can't put into words but it just is. So for eight months we dated, we were not just lovers, but friends. We would talk on the phone for hours several nights a week and see each other ever weekend due too our schedule. I know in my heart he never cheated on me,cared deeply for me and was truthful.
But after our 8 month period he had to study for his master's and told me he would not be able to see me as much or talk to me as much. I understood, I was in school as well at that time. Well, I got basically no contact from him at all, and it hurt. I felt as though I had been shut out of his life and I had lost a good friend. He wouldn't even call to say hi for 5 min. If I would contact him he would say he's busy studying, but on one occasion he went to his friend b-day party and didn't invite me. He said he still cared, but he had to concentrate on his studying. Finally after 2 months of this I called it quits, he would call, I wouldn't answer. He would text me and I would deleted. Finally he went on his way.
Three months ago, my father passed away and I was in deep grief and I needed a friend. He was the only person that I wanted to talk too and he was there for me and helped me. Now we're friends again and talk to each other alot. He keeps hinting about us getting together again, he passed his test and has a job at Morgan Stanley. But he hurt me so bad, and the way he just shut me out of his life I could not see me going back to him. He tries to get me to visit him, but I say no talking on the phone is fine.
I really believed I was over him. Well last night he called and a I was playing w/ my dog and made the remark "Guido is giving me love." He said I could give you love. I said you just have lust, he said the first time was lust but this time is love. We both got quiet, and I told him,"Whatever your full of it, I don't like you talking to me like that." He kinda just laughed it off nervously. Honestly it unnnerved me, when we were together there was never any talk about love on both sides, I think we both were scared. About a week ago I told I believed at one point I believed I loved him but not anymore. That I need a man who knows what he wants and can treat me the way I deserve.
He had commitent issues, he refused to call me his gf, but we spent all our time to together, I knew and liked all his friends, he had no time to see anyone else. And if he had he would have told me. When we were just friends he felt so guilty and told me about a girl that he had slept w/ the night before, and I told him it's cool, we're not dating or anything. Well, he didn't like my nonchalant response and told me if I had did that to him, he would be hurt and never want to talk to me again. lol
I'm unnerverd b/c I thought I had gotten over him, and then he comes w/ this statement. And it's bringing back feelings that I don't want to have. I love him as a friend and b/c our connection is so strong that it could never be broken. I'm not so hopeless romantic and I don't believe 100% in soulmates, but we always find our way back to each other.
Help me! What do I do? What does he want? And why now? I'm so confused. I'm sorry I know this isn't short, you have to excuse the writer in me.
RomanceClass.com AdviceIf you don't want to have feelings for him you better stay away.
You are slowly getting back into the romantic mood with him.
Remember he may do the exact same thing to you as he did before.
But, my advice is to give love a chance. Something wonderful may come of it and if not, there are other fish in the sea.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!
All Advice in the category - Breakup Issues
Browse our Answer Database
-
Browse Answers by Question Category
-
Browse Answers by Age Group
-
Browse Answers by Date of Response
Please read through the advice on this site before you
Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
