what to do?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am 24yrs old and my bf is 9mos younger than me.. we were classmates in college and become official couple during our last year in school. He was my 1st bf and I am his 1st gf. We are already 2yrs & 5mos together. This last few weeks we keep on fighting. One of the reason on our frequent fights was that I found out that he was flirting w/ his offcemate.. thts D reason y he refused to lend me his CP. bec all of their txt msges were still there.. He was only 1month in his current work.. and he told me all about his new officemates. He described d girl before he was flirting w/ as a beautiful girl, have eyes like me(he said even before that he likes my eyes). Upon learning that he was flirting w/ others I broke him immediately. I asked why he did that, if he liked the girl and if he donít love me anymore.. his answer was ďI donít knowĒ I stood on my decision bec of what he said. We both cried and its very hurt. I asked him if thereís no other way we could save the relationship. We cried and it was really painful. He admitted that he was wrong and promised me that he will never flirt again to anyone. But he said he want space.. I thought that he really cant rid that girl on his life that's why I pursued the break-up. I felt that I was really down and no one was in my side. But he pleaded my to give him another chance and he already erased ďherĒ # on his cp..since I love him so much, I accepted him again.. Since then he would let me check his cp.. but to my horrible I found out that he did not really erased the # but changed to other name (not once but twice!) the 2nd time he used his uncle name..! im a jealous gf! But I think I have basis on it. We still fix the things and totally erased the #. 1 week after things run smoothly bet us.. he was reviewing for a licensures exam while working.. he felt that he was left behind and asked for some space.. I became to irritated bec. his always asking for some space! (this is not only the 2nd time he asked it) I felt that he really donít want me anymore in his life. I broke him again. I didnít get any reply from him. The next day I realized that what I did is something wrong. I invited him to talk it over. But he refused. I asked him if he would come back to me after his review he said he donít know. Im willing to wait for him but he said he donít know! I felt that I was dying.. He refused every time I asked him to talk it over. But not until I emailed him one of your posted advice. The one that is saying ďIf you're thinking about breaking up a serious relationship, be SURE it is what you want to do...you just may end up regretting it for the rest of your life....Ē It was really fit on us.. since he felt before that I am the right one for her. That night he invited me in his pad. And Iím thinking now that just to avoid the pain of break-up he said to continue the relationship. We ended having sex. Now, were ok but I can feel that something is wrong. I donít know what to doÖ I want him to focused on his review and managed his own time without me. But what about the ďwrongĒ feeling I am experiencing right now? Iím afraid to ask him. Iím afraid that he may be suffocated again because I will surely ask him question he canít answer. I want to give him time. Time to think about our relationship. But how long? Until he finished his review? After his review his planning to transfer to another place. Nearer from his work, farther from my house and from my work.. What should I do? Please help me.. I donít want to let him go.. I love him so muchÖ I hope that there is still solution for us..
You demanded that he never flirt with girls anymore.
That is enough to set anyone thinking about their relationship and need time and space to think. You are being overjealous and controlling. You should find a compromise with him on this.
Other than that, it seems to me that you should wait until his review is over before trying to rebuild your relationship. Things will be much calmer then.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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