Please help me

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
At first , i would like to give you a brief introduction about the whole situation to make things clear enough to judge and to find a solution.
First, I'll tell you about myself. I'm a very successful woman in my education, the top of my class. Guys say i'm very pretty ( I don't want you to think i'm Conceited to say i'm pretty but i'm just trying to make things clear).
He is 5 years older than me, and the top of his class.
We had a crush on each other before, It's been two years now, and no guy ever caught my attention but him. So all i can say is that he's the love of my life- it's been 2 years now and i can't forget him although we never dated.
Fortunately, A month ago he said that he wants to marry me, I told him i had to think about this first and know him better ( I only said that because i didn't want to be easy) , so we started dating , we went out together for 5 times or sth, we would stay for hours with our laptops studying, but we also flirted.
Unfortunately, I screwed everything.. He used to call, ask me out- and all i did was acting like a child and being immature with him. I wanted to make him jealous- so when we go out for example and guys send me bluetooth msgs telling me i'm beautiful, i used to show him these msgs- i used to show up- i used to show him that many guys like me and call me on the phone- and when he asks me " who was on the phone" , i show him that i'm hiding sth and that i don't want him to know. I also made him doubt that my ex is still calling me.. The last time we dated he told me "You are an example of a player" ..I know i did a huge mistake but all i was trying to do is to show him that i'm precious so that he loves me more.
Another thing which made things worse is that i opened his email account and read the emails between him and his ex- I called him in the middle of the night and cried and screamed for sth that's already over. He said that what i did, opening his email account is not trust worthy, and that i planned to get his password to read those email which is dangerous, but i apologized and things got better after that and we went out.
Things ended suddenly- One day he was sending me love msgs and standing under my balcony- the other day he disappeared- after that he called- there was something wrong with his voice like he doesn't care anymore- later, he broke up with me gently, he told me " My father, doesn't think i'm responsible enough for marriage now,You dunno how this is hard on me, but i have to respect my father's wishes"
Of course i didn't buy that because his family supported the idea of us getting married and they loved me. So i opened his email account , i found that he sent an email to his uncle telling him " The woman i told you i was gonna marry, I was dating her to know her better,and to make sure that she is the right person for me to marry , but unfortunately,things didn't work out , and now i feel that she is not the right person for me so i told her that and things ended".
I know i did a terrible mistake, There was no one to give me advice, or tell me that i was doing the wrong thing, when i remember the nice time we spent together, i suffer, and i hate my self for what i did, i wish i could never done these things- I don't know why he doesn't see me as the right person but i believe it has something to do with how i've been acting with him. I blame my self. I lost the love of my life because of my stupidity, and i regret it.
Now, he broke up with me on 2/5/2007- since then no phone calls, i didn't try to call him , i disappeared trying to figure out what to do to get him back. He also didn't try to contact me.
The problem is that i feel there is no chance to make him change the way he thinks about me- we don't see each other because he doesn't go to university very often- he is very busy with work projects. Another problem is that he is leaving the country in a month, so i have to do something during this month without being pushy or needy or scaring him away. I thought about confronting him with the email but i know he'll go mad..
I know you may think of me as a bad woman for what i did, and for not respecting his privacy and opening his email account. But I realize the mistake i did now, and if you fear that i would act like so again , trust me , i learnt the lesson.
P.S: we weren't living together.
Please help me to get him back
Thank you





RomanceClass.com Advice
Neither of you have called in 3 months.

Now you have a month before he leaves and want to change his mind. This will be a very difficult thing to do.

My advice is to invite him out to a nice dinner and see how things stand with you two.

Even if he says no, hearing that would be better than always wondering.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - I Want my Ex Back

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.