I have a crush on a female coworker - but I'm female too
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
There is this girl I work with who I happen to like more and more each day. It must be her looks or maybe the personality. Either way, it's messing with my head, it's something I can't control, it just happened. The thing is, I am a girl too.
I am never 'out' at work and I feel frustrated with the situation because I feel as if I can't do anything about it. Out of the blue, I gave her a present and told her I just wanna give her something and it doesn't have to mean a thing. She accepted it and thanked me and actually used it. At work, we both act as if nothing occured, although now she knows I do like her.
Whenever we talk, it's usually work related. I haven't talked to her about how I feel yet, fear of rejection I suppose. At the moment, I am in a limbo as to what to do next. This girl is straight as far as I know. And she has been a major distraction for me as far as my work is concerned. What should I do?
Work crushes are hard enough when both people are of the same orientation - they're even harder when one is one way and the other person is the other way. So the situation takes a bit of delicacy.
I would read through the 'going from friend to boyfriend-girlfriend' advice -
and look at ways this can apply to you. You need to take it slow especially because you're at work and work romances are always touchy subjects. But work on becoming her friend, and then a better and better friend. As you get closer together, you might find that she is open to the idea. But you need to take it slow and get her used to you being around and enjoying the time you spend together.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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