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For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. -- Judy Garland

Hot Blooded Lovers

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Well, my sophomore year at bandcamp, I saw a freshman girl at the dance, she was gorgeous, so we started to dance. Some hours passed, and we were tongue kissing, not the half-assed kind, but we were being extremely passionate. We've gone on a few dates, and we are holding hands and kissing and doing other things.

I want to know if its so wrong to just have a relationship not totally but mostly based on being "hot blooded" lovers?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Here's the thing about the kiss-first, ask-questions-later situation. First, we've all been there, done that. So it's not like it's some 'cruel and unusual' situation. But a relationship is made up of all sorts of situations, it involves you guys going places together, interacting with friends together, dealing with parents together, all sorts of random things. And during all those different situations there are always 'bad times' along with the good times. It's the way life works.

If you guys are FRIENDS and really good talkers and have a great level of trust and connection, those bad times don't bother you at all. You talk about what was bad and go on. If say some guy starts really hitting on your girl, you two handle it together. You know each other, you trust each other, you talk about it for hours afterwards and resolve it.

But if you guys are just LUSTERS, then every time one of those rough spots happen, it becomes a crisis. You don't know how to handle it. She gets super jealous. You get really upset. You don't have any basis for talking with each other so you try to ignore the problem or scream at each other about it. And it gets worse and worse and destroys the relationship in a giant ball of flames.

So sure, for 2 or 3 months the lust is fine. Those are the months that relationships tend to ride along in the 'this is perfect!!' mindset. But once that fades into a more real, normal situation, and you hit the normal ups and downs of life, those downs will swamp you. It's time to build your communication levels NOW, before that happens.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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