His intentions are unclear, does he like me?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Well, there is this guy that I started liking a year and a half ago. He's four years older than me. he's seventeen, I'm thirteen. We take martial arts at the same school. I've known him as long as I've liked him, and he's a very distracted guy. Though he's four years older than me, he always used to talk to me, and when we'd discuss going out, he would just talk about how much younger I was. He never said anything like, "Well, even if you were my age, we wouldn't go out." He was talking about his dating range, and remarked, "14 and 17 is too far apart. So is 16 and 20. I wouldn't date a girl that young until at least in my mid twenties." One time, he made fun of my brother, and I said, "I'm the beautiful one." And he replied, "No comment, but only because I don't want to be arrested." When I told him about a guy who was creepy and I was afraid of, he told me that if the guy ever touched me, the guy would have to answer to him.

He left the school for a half a year, but came back. He had no intention of going further in the system,(because he didn't have time because he'd be leaving for school) but he came back anyway. Also, he still talks to me. Would a seventeen year old guy talk to a thirteen year old girl usually, unless he liked her? I don't know. He's leaving for college pretty soon, and he hasn't been at the school in a couple of weeks. He hasn't officially quit yet, but it's only a matter of time. It sounds like this guys likes me, but why wouldn't he say anything, like goodbye at least? We don't talk much anymore, but he used to come an hour early for his class just to talk to me.

We're both well aware of the age difference, but why does he talk to me still? And why do you think he didn't say goodbye or anything?

Thank you very much, and I hope this wasn't too long.





RomanceClass.com Advice
No it wasn't too long.

Thirteen is too young for a seventeen year old. It seems that he liked to talk to you but told you that you were too young. You should respect his feelings.

Now he has his mind on college and has reduced his contact with you. He probably is a person who can't handle "good-byes" easily.

You should make a point of letting him know that you will miss him. Both of you will feel better if you do. College is a big step and he has a lot of things on his mind.

Good luck! George


-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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