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Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin

Unhealthy jealousy/envy?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I have a boyfriend since about a year now and it is the first serious relation I have. After going to his home, I noticed some naked women calendars that he got before he started dating me. I can't help but not like it at all and it's making me sad because I don't like the idea of another women's body being on his mind.

I know what you'll say. It's normal for men to look at other women but I don't find it respectful to me and why do they need to look at other girl? Is it that I'm not satisfying?

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's normal for men to look at other women just as it is normal for women to look at other men. This does not mean, however, that the looker should cause unnecessary pain for the other person.

For example, you should feel free to ask him to remove the calendars from his home.

On the other hand, don't take it so personally if he looks at other women (without ogling) if you are out together. It wouldn't matter who you were, he would still look. It doesn't mean you aren't satisfying, it is just a learned behavior which most males never overcome. In fact, if he stops looking at other women you should start worrying...

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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