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The quality of love and the duration of a relationship are in direct proportion to the depth of the commitment by both people to making the relationship successful. -- Brian Tracy



Im sorry ..... i need more help



Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
sorry this is a follow up to this
http://www.romanceclass.com/advice/answer15022

Okay so.......I don't hurt as much now, but.........Im still frustrated. All she talks about is this girl, and she knows how I feel.......I mean does she just expect all my emotions to just disappear when she says she's MOSTLY gay? I mean I still enjoy her friendship, but she only likes this girl cause she's pretty. I know love never is fair.......but this isnt fair I really care about her and she really cares about me and she just IGNORES that.

The only thing she could say about this girl when she turned me down was 'she's the prettiest lesbian Ive ever seen'.........and its even worse now that this girl is giving her attention.....apparently my best friend is hot cause multiple guys and lesbians have made moves on her, including this girl she's pursuing ......but I like her for the intellectual conversations we have about comics constantly, her hilariously cute mannerisms, the fact that we talk to each other about everything. I mean of course I think she's cute, but I desire her because who she is, not what she looks like..........SO WHY AM I NOT THE ONE?!

As much as Id like to flat out ask her that, she's already told me....she can't see me as more than a friend as long as she 'likes' this girl'........so Id only be hurting myself/making things awkward.

Ive tried to rationalize it as 'she's just shallow' to stop the pain but that didnt work. It ended up hurting her because it naturally affected our friendship..... I stopped talking to her for a few days till I realized that It was causing her distress.....I know that Im her most IMPORTANT person here as far as pouring her soul and obviously she's mine.....but its frustrating cause (and she came dangerously close to saying this once till i guess mid sentence she realized how screwed up that would be to say to me)......she basically wants this girl with my personality.

I am focusing on my school work primarily, but this is the first thing that comes to mind when I have free time, and it makes it difficult for me to have fun.

Im confused because as time passes my pain dissipates some what because I become less hopeful towards any sort of romantic future with her in my mind.......but at the same time.....My love for her doesn't lessen. Ive tried looking for someone else to get her out of my head, but It doesnt work because I know that its wrong to pursue someone to forget about someone else.I can accept in my mind that she will most likely end up dating this girl, but I cant make it not embittering..... What should I do?

Im sorry for being such a bother T_T





RomanceClass.com Advice
Don't worry... you are not a bother.

Sorry your friend has taken the path she has chosen. Hopefully, for you, she and the other girl will not work out.

Continue to be her best friend and from time to time casually let her know that you still love her and will wait. But don't pressure or be clingy.

You are wise to realize that she will probably go through a few romances before she considers you. She is young and is spreading her wings.

Best wishes, George



-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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