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The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. --Morrie Schwartz

Could age difference be an obstacle?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have this male friend, with whom I don't know if we are just friends or more...

I have known him for almost 6 months. At the beginning we went to a cafe a couple of times and that was all. Later on, we started to get closer and closer. Whenever we play bowling, for example, he kept chooses me to be the first player on his team (he was always the captain). He always tries to please me by asking me what I love to eat, do, etc. and by taking me to the corresponding place (McDonalds, ice-skating rink).

Unfortunately, the essence of his job is such that he needs to move frequently from town to town. Recently, he moved to a neighbouring city (1 hour drive) and asked me to go there to visit him. After some hesitation I went there with the intention ONLY to have fun, but... he started quite a serious discussion about love, marriage, family values. he asked me if I share the same values like him (he is religious and is very strict about certain issues). We talked about this for almost 3 hours after which he invited me to visit him again.

However, before I could visit him again, he moved to another city, which is quite far from mine. Now, we talk on the phone - he calls me and we chat quite a lot... he says that he will keep calling me from any other city he moves to.

I have only one explanation for his behaviour - I am old enough to recognize certain signs. And here comes the problem - he is 8 years younger than me. So, I keep wondering - is it possible that he has grown some sort of an affection/love, etc. for me despite the age difference? He is extremely mature for his age (20) Still, how serious could such a thing be? How should I proceed?

RomanceClass.com Advice
I think he is serious about you. If you are serious about him - or thinking you might be - then ask him if he'd like to take things a step further. And go for it! If you only want to be friends, then please take a deep breath and let him know that.

He sounds thoughtful, he wishes to do things together that please you, and he has a good job. He seems great! I don't think the age gap is that bad, if he is a mature 20 year old and you are a youthful 28 year old. Such things can absolutely work out and it might be worth giving him the chance to prove it.

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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