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Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin



I dont know where I stand



Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Because of my paranoia i ended up checking her msgs on several occasions, too which to my dismay id find her having late night chats with some men (gone 3am) i confronted and explained this looks bad, she ceased, then i noticed she flirst with other men through messages, she claims its not what it looks like or blames the social network for having the wrong dates for the conversations, 'it only does it with her' , claiming it was before we got together, now a few weeks back i checked her social network account one last time, she had had a late night conversation with her ex, this particular ex is the one she was obssesing over(she admitted this) for a months before we got together(her longest relationship before ours) and stopped a mere few days before, so i confronted her, she claims i have nothing too worry about, she has now been thinking and will not share with me claiming 'its not important' and i 'wouldnt want too know' despite me reasuring her i will be supportive whatever it may be and that i love her.

Now she has plans too go out halloween without me, i asked if i could meet up as id like to at least end the night in each others arms, but she has become extremly offensive about this, i stay calm and share my opinions yet she is being really aggressive in her speech, even when i ask if i could at least come back too hers ones the night has ended so i may rest with her, she became even more offensive, i have so much on my mind with my studies, making sure she's alright as she has soo much on her shoulders as is without me being a fool and her own studies(which she is failing at simply because she hates her class) i am her first love and first in bed and she admits she doesnt understand and fears these feelings she has for me as they are 'weak' im just torn appart as im unsure what too make of any of this and she is amazing, for ones after all the girls iv had long term relationships with, shes the only one that thinks, feels and tastes the same as i, i dont want too drive her away...




RomanceClass.com Advice
Honestly, I don't think this is a healthy relationship. She isn't being honest with you, and you are breaking into her privacy. These do not indicate that there is an open, loving relationship that is worth nurturing. And even though she says she has feelings for you, her actions are showing that she just isn't into being the kind of girlfriend you want.

Although this is hard, I'd suggest letting her go. If she comes back on her own, then that is one thing, and she might try to do better by you. But I think you can find another girl who feels like you do, but isn't sneaky and aggressive.

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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look for honesty

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