logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Love feels no burden, regards not labors, strives toward more than it attains, argues not of impossibility, since it believes that it may and can do all things.--Thomas Kempis



He was In Rebound ...



Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I started dating one of my neighbors since Labor Day. This was someone I had had a crush on for years, he was always gentle and kind. His live-in girlfriend died within the last 3 months, so I just tried to let him know I was there for him. I had always assumed that he took care of her, but now that I know him better, it may have been the opposite.

She was 20 years older than him. I am older, but not that much older. I have a good job working for a law firm as a legal assistant. He does construction-type work, but from what I see, he hasn't been working. He has stood me up for about 3 dates so far. We have made love once so far.

I'm sure I've already gone way past what I should be putting up with. He gave me a gold cross to wear and a couple of CDs. He says he wants to give me a lot of artwork that is in his house. I invited him over for dinner Monday night. He said sure, but I need to take a shower. It is now Friday and that is the last I've heard. I tried calling a couple of times, but no answer and no answering machine.

I heard his dog barking and thought maybe he was severely depressed and possibly even dead. My daughter said, mom, don't go there. Then I saw his door moving as my daughter and I were walking up the street. I said to her, It's Alive. Just trying to make light of this painful situation. I have said to my friends, be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. I don't know what to do at this point.




RomanceClass.com Advice
I know you were trying to be a friend, but I really, really have to warn against ANY relationship that involves someone in rebound - especially if the previous love has died. That can easily take months to years to fully recover from. If you try to get involved before then, you are adding all sorts of extra strain to your relationship. Where your relationship might have been perfect if you waited say a year before starting, you might destroy the relationship by starting it in rebound and not have any chance to try again.

I wouldn't judge him too harshly right now. Undoubtedly he feels pain and guilt and unfaithful towards his dead love and wishing he could have saved her and not sure he deserves another girlfriend. It's probably not you at all - it's him and the grief he is going through. He's probably now thinking "I deserve to be alone, just look at what I did to my new girlfriend" and moping even worse.

I would take a big step back and be just a friend to him again. Stop by with a casserole or cookies. Bring him a movie to watch. Give him time to heal and give yourself time to learn what he's really like as a person. It might be that you are meant to be great friends and nothing else. It might be that you can be great partners - but in a few months, once his past is really resolved.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Flirting and Friendship

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

origami wedding favors