I Want a Girlfriend!
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
hey I need some serious advice because I'm at a crossroads here. Things in general are all messed up because there's soo many possibilities I don't know where to turn. I haven't been too good as far as dating, girls think I'm pretty good looking but I'm kinda shy so I haven't had huge success. I have lots of friends that are girls but I can't seem to make the transition, what could I do about that? Do you have any advice for people who are a bit shy? Anyways back to the main trouble there's this girl that I'm starting to really like. It's really weird because we barely know eachother but something just draws her to me.
She's just cool and seems funny, and is also great looking and I find myself seeing her face through the day. She's in one of my classes and she plays school sports and we talked a bit but not much on a busride to another school but other then that I don't know her too well. The problem is I don't know how to make a move with her because she always seems to have friends around and there's never a moment we could really talk. I feel a bit nervous too because I don't know if I'm good enough, I'm considered pretty decent but not some super-goodlooking guy and I don't know if that's the type of guy she would date so I don't know if she'd ever want me. I sometimes see her looking at me in class several times like she almost likes me. What should I do?
Also there's this girl from out of town who I meant through my friend because he's dating this girl's friend and we all went to a movie a few nights aga and me and this other girl got real close. We barely knew eachother but by the end we were holding hands and we almost kissed and now her friend tells me she likes me but the story seems to change sometimes so I don't know. I don't know her too well yet but I did enjoy the night we all went to a movie.
I really want a g/f and it's starting to depress me bigtime. I really hope you can give me some good advice because I really need it as you can tell. Thank-you
First, it seems you're a bit hung up on good looking! It doesn't matter if she's good looking or you're good looking or where you fall on the good looking scale! People date people they enjoy being with. Believe me, if someone is good looking and a jerk you don't want to be with them, no matter HOW sexy they are. And if someone is plain but a wonderful person, then they *seem* beautiful to you. You see that special beauty that other people miss. Beauty isn't some sort of "MTV Absolute". Beauty is solely about how you, as a person, perceive another person.
You don't just go up to a girl and say "date me". You develop a relationship with a girl and that relationship turns romantic. I have advice on that here -
so you need to develop friendships with these girls and see if there is one that you really enjoy being with for long periods of time. Having a girlfriend is NOT about having a "pretty object that follows you around like a pet". Having a girlfriend is about finding a woman that you really get along with, can talk about anything with, can be happy and sad, angry and peaceful with. That is a girl you then become romantic with. You don't leap into a romance with someone you barely know - because those are the relationships that collapse as soon as the first tiny bump comes along.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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