logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Love is a great master. It teaches us to be what we never were. --Molière



She's Lying to a Friend



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Where do I begin? I've been dating my girlfriend for about 15 months now and am very much in love with her. She started dating me very soon after breaking up with her last boyfriend. From the beginning our relationship has been incredible, especially since we'd know each other for already 10 years....however....she remained friend with her ex-boyfriend and to this day has not mentioned to him that she a) has a boyfriend and b) that it's me [I know him].

Unfortunately, I've since moved out of town to go to school but we've stayed in touch and are trying to stay together despite the distance between us (250 miles). The situation with her ex-boyfriend has been the only thorn in the relationship. With me so far away, every time I'm unable to reach her I suspect that she's with him. She assures me that nothing is going on and that she doesn't tell him to avoid hurting his feelings and that he will go haywire but in the meantime my feelings are being hurt. We've beat the issue into the ground over and over again.

About a month ago, I found some pictures of her and her ex on a trip that she supposedly went on with some friends 4 months into our relationship. None of the pictures showed anyone but the two of them. I don't believe that there was anyone else on the trip.

I'm at my wits end....I love this person very very much but am having a hard time with the distance and the fact that she still has yet to tell this guy that she is dating someone. I do my best to not bring up the issue since it's come up so often....but from time to time my jealousy shows its ugly face. Help me please!!!!!




RomanceClass.com Advice
Liars always have excuses for why they lie and betray. And they are NEVER RIGHT. By lying to this guy she is protecting her own fantasy world and protecting HIS fantasy world, and she is also treating him like a 3 year old who cannot handle the truth. If the only way she can have him as a friend is to lie to him, she is NOT a worthy friend to him. In reality she is protecting HERSELF and her relationship with this guy.

Tell her that being in a relationship is about being HONEST and that is true both about her relationship with you AND about her relationship with this other guy. That she needs to grow up and learn to accept the results of her choices. And that either she is going to tell him or YOU are going to tell him because you are not going to support her lying habits any more. Would she want you to lie to her? I imagine not. So why does she think it's quite all right for her to lie to others?

While you're at it, ask her to name the friends who went on this supposed trip. And talk to her again about lying and the truth. Either she starts to value honesty or no relationship she is ever in is going to work, because nobody is ever going to trust her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - My Partner is Cheating

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright © 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

Italian Wedding