He's an Incredible Flirt

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i visit a friend of mine at work quite often to say hi and hang out. One night this guy came in who started working in the ajoined business and was talking about taking his girlfriend out to dinner. There wasn't a problem becuase there was no initital attraction. since then, i have seen him quite often and gotten to know her personality and sense of humor and have become quite attracted to him. He flirts like a champ and i leave notes for him in his locker and and what have you.

After a few months of this, i was getting more and more confused and finally left a note (becuase where this place is there is NO privacy), explaining that, and that i have feelings for him and know he is seeing someone else, and is this all just innocent flirting for him. i left my phone number if he wanted to call. well the next time i saw him he asked me to come outside with him and he said he was really glad i left the note and that he feels the same way, but he has a girlfriend and cant cheat on her. i was totally cool with that, and he said he would keep my number though and still wanted us to be friends. great. so i assumed that was it and we would be cool and whatever.

well, after that he has since started flirting harder and now he asked me to come visit him at work. he asks me to cook dinner for him (though i dont, but play along with the conversation), and asks my permission to do things, but will not leave the girlfriend and wont take it any farther then hard flirting with me. he asked me out once but i think he realized what he did and the next day said he couldnt go, with no reason. then he said he would come to my party, and didnt show.

i just dont understand. i thought our talk cleared things up but now i am more confused then ever. the most confusing thing of all is that his girlfriend constantly upsets him and picks fights with him. i just dont understand what is going on with him. I like him too much to give up, but am i just torturing myself at this point?

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's easy to say "Let's only be friends". It's a lot harder to actually control your emotions and stick by those rules. The fact that this guy is out flirting with other women is probably destroying his home relationship, too. And I have to warn you, if this is the way he is, if you did actually get him to leave his girlfriend and date you instead, he would start flirting with other women because that's what is exciting to him - the flirtation.

One of the most important things to do in a relationship is to focus on the relationship and keep it happy. He instead is focussing his attentions on you, destroying his real relationship and this is the way he deals with issues. I would really pull back and make sure this stays as just friends.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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