logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
At this point in my life I'd like to live as if only love mattered. --Tracy Chapman



My Boyfriend Looks at Porn



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My Boyfriend often looks at porn on the internet. Last night I walked into the computer room and found him. This makes me feel very jealous and not good enough for him. I would like to know what would be the best way to handle this situation and overcome these feelings.




RomanceClass.com Advice
Looking at porn isn't an easy situation with a simple answer. There are many different ways that couples find pleasure in life and porn can definitely be one of them. Many videos are meant to be watched as a couple and bring an extra spark of fun into their life - just like lingerie or other toys do. So in that context, porn can be great. Everybody needs a little spark every once in a while to keep things interesting.

On the other hand, porn should never be a *substitute* for the relationship. All relationships start out new and exciting, and then mellow over time into a well known situation. But if a person still craves the new-and-exciting, porn can seem like fun at first. The problem is that once you start looking at porn, you get hooked on the "high" of new and exciting. So you keep looking for more porn, interesting porn, different porn. Studies show that porn users keep wanting more and more new items to look at to keep that "new jolt" coming. So they become less and less aroused by "known" situations - including their home relationship.

Not only that, but humans of course only have a limited amount of energy each day. So if someone is spending his energy on porn, that energy isn't available to you as a human partner. This includes sexual energy, time energy, emotional energy. We only have a certain number of hours in a day, we only have a certain number of things we pay attention to, we only have a certain amount of physical energy we can expend. If he's choosing to give up all this time and energy on a computer screen, it takes away from what is left for his real world.

So I'd sit down and have a talk with him. You know the porn is exciting. It's not that you're taking a moral stand against porn here. But YOU want to be the focus of his attention and you're standing there wanting it. If he wants excitement, so do you! So TOGETHER you should find solutions. For him to go off and have fun without you, and leave you wanting more and not getting it, is unfair.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Jealousy Issues

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

Italian Wedding