Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Love wing’d my Hopes and taught me how to fly. --Anonymous

Dealing with Insecurity

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I really need help dealing with my insecurity. I have been with a girl that I know I am going to marry and she feels the same about me. And I know for a fact that she loves me and that I am most important to her and that she would never look elsewhere. However, whenever she chooses to do something with her friends instead of talk to me I feel like she is getting sick of me and that I am not most important to her. And then I go into a whole "need for reassurance" thing. I automatically assume the worst of her actions. My insecurity makes me almost expect something bad when deep down I know there is no evidence to support that conclusion. As a matter of fact it is exactly the opposite. She is trying to do everythingshe can to show that she loves me and that I am the most important, but no matter what she does I always seem to see it the wrong way.

Please Help me!!! I am driving my soul-mate away with petty arguments that result from my insecurity. How can I think positive thoughts? How can I overcome the need to be constantly reassured that she loves me? I am out of college and she is still in college (320 miles away). I am having a hard time with her having so little time and me having alot more to spend on her (letters, e-mails, packages). I take that lack of time to extremes as well. I figure if she has 2 hours of free time she should spend at least 1 hour of it talking to me on the phone and 1 hour visiting friends (even if she has 10 friends to visit all over campus) and she should always visit her friends after she has called me, because I HAVE to be her PRIORITY. Every action she takes has to scream that out loud or I start feeling iinsecure. I really need help with this. What used to be perfect, happy conversations have become bitter arguments over NOTHING AT ALL!!

RomanceClass.com Advice
First, it's REALLY good that you realize how seriously this can affect your relationship. Many, many relationships are destroyed just because one person was insecure. And really, insecurity is all in your head. She says she loves you, and you both feel strongly about your love for each other. So if you keep pressuring her for "proof" it can wear her down to the point that she doesn't want to deal with it any more.

I do have a page on insecurity, jealousy and self esteem -


There are many books on the topic too. It can be a very serious issue that can destroy not only your relationship, but your work environment and friendships too. I would actively start trying to work on building up your self esteem so that you ACCEPT that she loves you and not have to have it proven to you, and accept that you are worthy of that love. If doing it on your own doesn't seem to work, then talk to a priest, minister, therapist, or whoever else you can talk to. There are people specifically trained in dealing with this. It's better that you get through this now, instead of later when it's already caused damage (or more damage) in your life.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!

Wife is like that

Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Jealousy Issues

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response

Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.

Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com

Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


Follow Me on Pinterest

Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!

RomanceClass on Facebook

Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues

| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright © 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

Irish Wedding