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To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. --David Viscott

Different Races, Different Religions

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I together for almost 2 years. We come from different race and religion. At the beginning, he said that his family don't mind about our differences. But now he said his parent can't accept me because of his family culture and i come from different race. He never bring me to meet his parent.

I did asked him whether he going to follow his parent choice/opinion or follow his own choice. I asked him whether he going to marry me? I asked this to him because he said he really loves me. His answers..he know his family very well and he will marry me if i cant wait for him. My heart said, nobody can change is family choice, only him. But he never take any action.

What should i do? Wait for him? Forget him?
We are love each other but he willing to sacrifice our relationship because of his family. I feel is not fair to me. He cheat me?

RomanceClass.com Advice
I am just amazed that here we are in the year 2004 and people even think about something like "race". There is no pure race any more! We are all mixtures of different heritages if you look back far enough. What your skin is like outside has nothing to do with what you are inside. Would his parents really say something like "we only want you to marry someone with dark brown hair, not someone with light brown hair"?? Why should they care about things like hair and skin color?

Why do you have to wait because of the family? If you two are old enough to marry then you are adults. Period. You cannot live your life based on what your family thinks. I hate to be overly crass, but your family does not lay in your bed at night. Your family does not wake up with you two in the morning. Only you two should decide what goes on in your home. Your family will die in a while. They will go on to another world. You two are the ones who will be left to life your lives together.

There have been couples for thousands of years that have fallen in love without being of the same race or caste or whatever was important at the time. They have married and been blissfully happy together. And there have also been millions of couples that "seemed alike" and who were completely miserable when they married. You should never marry someone because they are "like you". You should marry someone who you LOVE even if they are different. He better learn that lesson soon before he makes his life miserable in order to please his parents.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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