I Lie to Make Him Jealous
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My husband and I are almost married for almost 2 years. We have a one year old which we love to death.
Now my problem is that me and my husband are not getting along. Meaning he never shows he is anger like for an example I told him that I have been cheating on him which is not true I would not do that it is to painful. Anyways just to see his reaction. Nothing! Didn't get upset. No nothing.
He is the type of person that doesn't seem to get angry no matter what. I think he is not even jealous if I go out with some tight clothes on and dancing with some guys. Makes me feel like he wouldn't care at all. Makes me feel I am not worth it. Makes me feel I am not hot, sexy or beautiful. No matter what happens it doesn't matter to him.
My case I am sort of a aggressive person and I just want him to be that type of person. Or better yet I can feel it inside that he is. But doesn't show. Why? Because I am not that pretty sexy person in his eyes that is the way I see it. I hope you can understand what I am saying.
Yes, yes you can't change a person. And that is why I am stuck here.
Well you say you realize you can't change a person - but then you're trying your best to deliberately antagonize him into changing how he is! Many women out there would be SO incredibly happy to have a non-jealous boyfriend. Many women are beaten, screamed at and even killed by overly jealous guys. Here your guy is trusting and accepting, and you are upset.
You shouldn't need jealousy to feel appreciated. You should simply need appreciation. Now if you're saying your husband is not *showing affection* - that is a different complaint. Please don't ever confuse those two things.
If you are feeling that your husband is not affectionate enough, then find ways to show that in a productive manner. Get an out-of-the-house sitter and plan a romantic evening together for two. You're the aggressive one - do the planning. Plan a weekend away at a B&B with just you two. If he resists, explain that this is important to you, that you crave that solo one-on-one affect that you married him for.
At that point either he'll go along with your setting-the-scene and give you the affection you want - or he'll resist for some reason. If he resists, then it's time for therapy to find out why.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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