logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole. -- Derek Walcott



We moved in, our sex life suffered



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. We were living about 2 hours away for the first half of our relationship, and then decided to move in together. Everything went well for the first few months, and then he told me that he isn't sure that he was ready to move in with someone. He said it's not moving in with me, but moving in with someone in a relationship, in general.

Since then, our sex life has deteriorated tremendously. I don't know what to do to make him want to make love to me. Or what to think about our relationship. He is the kind of person who doesn't really talk about his feelings. Can you help?




RomanceClass.com Advice
This is really common. And you can't make him want you without addressing the cause of his stress. People want sex when they're happy and not stressed. If he's stressing about your relationship and situation, he's not going to be in the mood. So you have to fix the cause.

It could very well be that when you were dating, your relationship was "fun". But now that you're living together, it's about chores and dealing with the cranky side of each other, which is normal but much less fun. It could also be that now that you're living together, he's feeling the pressure to get engaged to you and he isn't ready for that. So even if you haven't said anything about it, he could "assume" that's the next step and be stressing about that.

You need to sit down with him. A relationship is based on honesty and communication. If you don't talk this through it will just get worse and pull you apart. Be open and supportive. Ask him what in particular is bothering him. Don't judge him, just listen. It's how he feels even if it seems irrational to you. To help him, maybe mention one or two things that strike you as difficult. Don't phrase it as "you always do this wrong!" But say "We seem to have trouble working out chores so we're both happy with who does what." Phrase things as "we together are having an issue with XXXX" so that you get the sense that together you can find a solution.

Hopefully once you get into the discussion and he sees you are open to hearing and working on criticism, he'll bring up the things that bother him. Once they're revealed, you can work on them. But you have to talk about them first. And if you can't even talk about them, that's not a good sign for working through any problems. So get talking first.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Kissing / Intimacy

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

origami wedding favors