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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain

My boyfriend has a "friend" (female) who he had a fling with

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend has a "friend" (female) who he had a fling with before I met him. She's constantly calling and flirting when her boyfiends out of town. He says she's just a "flirt-friend" who's in his group of friends so he can't ditch her. Whenever he mentions her all he talks about is how sexy she is and when I call him on it says it's okay because he know's she's really a B@#$%. However we went out for his birthday party and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He kept tabs on her all night, and kept commenting on every guy who hit on her at the club. Although he danced with me all night, I felt like the 3rd wheel. I've told him how uncomfortable I am about this and he says I'm overreacting and there's no reason for jealousy. I trust him, but I can't stop feeling this jealousy. What can I do?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do about her, she's meshed in with the gang and your boyfriend isn't seeing why you might have a problem with it. Jealousy comes from insecurity, and I can see where you're coming from.

What you can work on is the commitment between you and your boyfriend. Trust that he's faithful to you and trust that any lingering thing going on between him and the girl is so mild that it won't swamp your relationship.

I don't say that it will be easy at all, but go the high road unless confronted with undeniable evidence.

Good luck, let us know how it's working for you!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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