logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. --Jean Anouilh



His Energies are Elsewhere



Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
This is embarressing. My husband of five years has a habit that I think may be a little perverted. When I mention to him that a pretty girl found him attractive, if someone flirts with him, or if he hears something sexual about a woman - he masterbates almost immediately. He will actually excuse himself to go do it. Once he started right in front of me and I thought we were going to have sex. He asked me to leave (he's never lived that one down).

Anyway, I'm the one whose down now - I feel like I am competing for his sexual attention. I have a healthy sex drive and he will turn me down if he's taken care of himself. Is this normal behavior for a 40 yr old man? Please help. Thanks for your time and sensitivity in this matter.




RomanceClass.com Advice
Well, take solace in that you're not alone. This is a not uncommon problem, especially with older men. The issue is that they fall into a rut. They're used to getting pleasure on their own when they are aroused. If you do something that arouses them, you're doing half the work. They don't have to arouse themselves. Then they just get to go 'have fun' in the way they're used to.

However, now YOU are in the picture and when you're a couple one of the things you expect to do is have fun together. And how his energies that he spends on his own are energies that COULD have spent on you but aren't. So yes, this is very frustrating. You need to break him in slowly. It's a training process.

When he's aroused, you have to remind him that YOU are there too and that arousal can bring you both pleasure. Make it a thing you both do together which is very fun. Don't make it a bad thing that he's aroused, that'll cause all sorts of problems. Make it a fun thing, that it's GREAT that he's aroused because now you both can enjoy yourselves. It'll take a while - he's probably had this mentality for many years - but you should be able to eventually get him to equate arousal with you-two-fun instead of just me-alone-fun.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Kissing / Intimacy

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

French Wedding