She says she was very bored and wanted new.

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My girlfriend dumped me on my birthday after we have been together for a year. She says she was very bored and wanted new. She's only 17 so now that some time has passed I can understand. She used all sorts of excuses, that she just wanted to date more people and wanted to be single. She cheated on me several times towards the end, began using drugs heavily, drinking, etc. She is someone a lot different, acting a lot older than she really is. I have tried to get her back but my efforts have failed. I tried being mean to her so she thinks im not too nice, I have tried letting my feelings out, etc. The trick is, she is a VERY stubborn girl, it is very hard to get info into her mind as it is getting out of her mind. Now however, she has a boyfriend that she has been dating for a few months now. Now she just says that she doesn't "like" me anymore "like that" but that cannot be true because me and her had the best relationship. We fought all the time but it was for stupid reasons. There just wasn't enough trust in the relationship, I would always think she was going to cheat on me or be smoking which I really hated her doing. But we had way more good times, we have been everywhere together, we have done everything together and we always had a great time if we did something together. I love this girl like no one else or anything can ever explain. My life just is not the same with out her. I live every day as if I am tied down or as if im missing something to make it "normal". I have cried endless tears and have nervous break downs here and there because it just hurts.
Here is some more info: She is moving out of the house in a month to live with her friend. Whenever we talk on the phone we end up argueing because she ends up bringing "us" up and how it would never work again, but why does she bring it up, all the time too?? Recently she has decided not to speak to me completely. I dont know what I should do. Should I not try and contact her or should I try again, I know i have to be a bit more honest because I tried to play games with her but I think it made it worse. Please HELP me out as much as you can because I cannot go another day with out this girl. Letting her go is not an option, I will not let her be the one that got away. How can I get her back??

RomanceClass.com Advice
You do have the option to move on. It is very tough, but this relationship you were in was not healthy and was not going to make you a better person. You need to think about what you want your life to be like in 10 or 20 years. She's into drugs and alcohol and you already said she was smoking. This is someone you want to be with? You'll spend your life in Al-Anon trying to get over the pain she causes you with her bad behavior. You said that you're overwhelmed by the thought of not being with her, but your life with her was a rollercoaster of emotions. Of course your life seems empty without that, but it is a better life, one that you can fill with someone decent and good and worth your love.

I strongly suggest that you see a counsellor to work through your feelings and find the way out so that you can live a healthy, happy life.

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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