logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Love must be as much a light as a flame. --Henry David Thoreau



I'm Changing Myself to Be Like Him



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Ok, i really like my best friends cousin. And there are so many things about him that i love and envy. For example he is extremly fit. And i am subconciously changing my habits in order to be more like him. I all of a sudden hate soda, and i have recently become a veggetarian, both of these are part of his characteristics.

He is an awesome person, he is extremly smart, he is funny, and he knows how to have a good time. But his few most recent girlfriends have been preppy ditz's and he deserves someone so much better. By stating this i am not suggesting that i am what he needs but i would like to be. And thats why i think i have been changing.

Is it wrong or bad that i have changed for this guy (he dosent know this though). And he almost seems as if he might be the least bit attracted to me but im not sure. And i dont want to reveal my attraction to him incase he isnt into me. And there is always the fact that he has a girlfriend. im not sure wheather they are serious or not.

But what should i do? I am so confused. My friends think i am an obsesive little girl with a crush, but i think it might be more. How can i be sure?




RomanceClass.com Advice
This is an excellent question and one that many people ponder. Here is the thing. You should always change because the change is something you feel will truly better yourself - and is not simply to "fit another person's ideal". That is, let's say you hate country music - but you want to date a guy who loves country music. So you "dress up" like a country star solely to get him, even though you hate it all along. Sure, you might catch his eye in the short run - but believe me he WILL discover very quickly that you are lying and this will cause him to despise you. Nobody likes to be lied to or played with. So that sort of technique tends to backfire in an ugly way. Where he might have actually liked you for yourself, he will now hate you for being deceptive and untrustworthy.

OK, so that's what you have to avoid doing at all costs. But in your case, it's not that you are necessarily trying to "fake him out". It is that he is an athletic person. You admire that in him and want to become more athletic too. In this case, the goal - being more fit - is an excellent one and one that will serve you well no matter WHO you end up dating. It is important for your long term health. So in a way he is inspiring you to be a better person.

The vegetarian issue is more iffy. Eating vegetarian takes a lot of care to do it nutritiously and properly, so you maintain adequate health. This is REALLY important for girls and women. You can cause yourself serious harm if you do it poorly. So something this life-important shouldn't be done on a whim. It should be something you seriously consider, research and if you choose to do it, you need to make sure you take vitamins and eat a well rounded set of meals every day. No human can live on just lettuce.

That all being said, if these changes have caused you to cut out junk food and exercise more, those are great changes. I have a ton of tips on the site about how to build up a relationship with a guy - it always starts with friendship that gets closer and closer. So work on that, and focus on being as healthy as you can. It sounds like those are things that appeal to him.

--Lisa

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Getting Closer to Someone

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

French Wedding