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Set some limits



Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have a 16 year old daughter who has developed a friendship with a 28 year old man. She has know him for about 15 months and he has never asked her out. Recently I have noticed he is getting very playful with her, touching her (not sexually). He is a National Sports Champion and they train together. He is always teasing her, telling her jokes, verbally sparring with her, at competitions tends to sit next to her (also at dinners in vehicles etc). Gets upset with himself if he thinks he's hurt her. Talks to me a lot asking questions about her (like when she's finishing school etc). His friends seem to accept her and one of them recently made a comment to me that he is very aware of her age. When he thought she was upset he offered her his prise possession (his National Trophy) to take home with her for a week. He really doesn't seem interested in any other girls (they come up to him at competitions). To me it's like he's waiting for her to get older. She is very mature for her age and people tend to think she is about 19.

What do you think. Is he flirting with her. Should I discourage her or just wait and see. He is very nice.




RomanceClass.com Advice
My advice is to make sure she understands that she cannot date a 28 year old man. That's assuming you don't want her to. Yes he is flirting with her but what else is new between a male and female no matter what the ages.

You are going to be the one to keep a close eye on the situation and when you reach your discomfort level, have a talk with both of them. Really 16 is when she should be going out with other boys her age and developing a sense of who she is. On the other hand in two years she will be 18 and you have much less control of her then.

Not an easy thing to figure out!
George

-- from George
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