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Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin

is dating around important?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My ex boyfriend and I haven't been friends in two years, and we can't find a way to talk to one another because I stopped talking to him because he hurt me a lot after our one year relationship ended. But I still love him, and we only see eachother ever once in a while. We still share a lot of the same friends, but we never hang out with them at the same time. I really really want him back, but can't find a way to make everything all right again. I am deathly afraid to approach him, and my pride often wont let me. I feel like he's the one who broke up with me and made things occured between us, shouldn't he approach me? We had an awsome relationship, and I honestly don't know why it ended. I have been confused for two years, and still don't know what went wrong. I had the feeling that a while back he was trying to make things better between us, because he kept approaching me, but every time he would ask me for something really dumb, like he couldn't think of something else to say. Well I kept walking away from him because all I really wanted was an apolagy, but he wasn't saying it. I think we are both really afraid, and want to be with each other, but neither one of us is willing to make the first move. How can this be fixed? How can I get him to approach me, and get the appolagy that I want?
Another thing is.... He's been dating around a lot ever since we broke up, but can't seem to make any relationship last as long as we did. I haven't dated at all since him, and lately I've been talking to this other guy that I used to have a crush on before I met my ex. He moved away on long distence when we had been talking for a while, and wants me to come visit him. I like him, but I know it would be a short relationship. Now my ex is single again, and I don't know what to do. I love my ex, but I am worried that if we get back together we will get serious right away, and I might regret not dating more. So my question is... is dating around important?

I am 19, my ex is 18, and the new guy I am talking to is 21.

RomanceClass.com Advice
Yes, dating around is important for you.

You have wasted enough time waiting to get back with your ex. You need the experience of other guys before you are ready to try it again with your ex.

If you are brave enough and humble enough, you could be honest with your ex and ask him out for dinner. At dinner, tell him how you feel about him but that you don't feel it is time to try to get back together again. Tell him you want to date others and then see how you feel about him.

If he is any kind of decent human being, he will understand and respect the fact that you opened your heart to him.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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