Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole. -- Derek Walcott

My Jealousy has me Threatening my Friends

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I'm with the girl of my dreams and i can't help, but have a suspicious mind. I love her to the death, and I feel as though i have been betraying her by feeling suspicious. She is the best thing to ever happen to me, and she says that I am the best thing to happen to her, and i trust her to the core of me, but there is still that thought at the top of my mind that she may be cheating on me.

The other day i threatened my old friend; i told him that if he went near her again and touched at all I would honestly murder him in cold blood. Just before I had told him this he had touched her leg, and went up her skirt (too far for my liking) and when i confronted him on this; she said that it was okay and that he was a friend.

I'm soooo lost! I love more than anything in my life and i can't help, but feel that she may be betraying me. We have even gone as far as saying we could run away together and leave our old lives behind, and she agrees with the idea as much as i do, but I have crazy jealousy complex and can't seem to understand her outgoing nature.

With all this said i have two questions:
1) Was i right to confront my friend and threaten him.
2) What should I do about my jealousy problem??

RomanceClass.com Advice
It sounds like the girl of your dreams would actually be a woman clothed in black from head to toe that you kept locked in your house, so she never saw any other male! No, it is NEVER ok to threaten a friend with death! What kind of a friend does that? And if she IS the woman of your dreams, it means you should trust her and she should trust you. If you are so insecure that you are going around threatening people with slaughter because that is the only way you can "force her to stay with you", something is seriously wrong.

I have a whole course on working through jealousy -


But to start out with, you guys should NOT run off and try to "leave your old lives behind". One of the most important things you learn in life is that you are who you are. You can't just "abandon" an old life and expect things to be different. You need to understand and accept who you are. She is a happy, flirtatious woman. She's not going to change. Either you accept that as part of what she is or you leave her and find someone that you CAN deal with. She says she loves you. Either you accept that she does WHILE she acts the way she does, or you don't and you find someone else to love.

There is NO way you can force her to love you by actively removing every other male presence from the planet earth. It is healthy and normal for her to have male friends, male schoolmates, male coworkers. Either you trust her with those guys, or you don't and you find someone else you can trust. But if you go around threatening every guy that touches her or gets near her or talks to her, you are saying that her love isn't strong and that the only way she will stay with you is if you are the only guy she ever talks to. Which is very, very unhealthy.

You say you "trust her to the core of me" but very obviously you don't. You don't trust her at all. You are worried that she will run off on you given half the chance. So you have to work on that trust. Trust is THE most important part of any relationship. If you don't have trust, nothing else matters.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Jealousy Issues

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response

Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.

Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com

Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


Follow Me on Pinterest

Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!

RomanceClass on Facebook

Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues

| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

origami wedding favors