Japanese woman American man

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been in contact with this girl for 2 months. When we first met we exchanged emails daily, sometimes 2 to 3 times. About 2 weeks after I'd met her, she'd mentioned that she had a boyfriend, but we still exchanged emails. Most of our emails discussed future plans, work, school, and so on. I'm also studying her language, and she's studying English, so she helps me and I help her. So about a month after meeting her, she tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend. She told me the reasons why, because he hit her and he's jealous of her and what she's doing. She personally told me she's not doing anything. He was very jealous of her past. So I tell her I had the same problem with my ex girlfriend, but I never hit her. So I tell her I'm sorry that you had to go through that.



So, another week goes by, but we're still exchanging emails about what we did for that day and so on. So I finally asked her does she want to go out. She replied and said yes. The day I picked her up it was cold, we'd planned going to the beach, but it was very cold. So we decided to go to the movies instead. We'd planned to see one movie but it wasn't playing anymore. So we drove to a few other places to see if it was playing there. But while driving, we had good conversations. I'd made her laugh a lot, I'd make her laugh so much that she'll give me a pat on my shoulder. She also smiled at me a lot (but that's typical for a Japanese girl.) So we finally decided to just watch any movie.. After the movie we walked around the mall for a bit just having a conversation. After that, I'd headed to drop her off. On the way back, we'd made plans to see one another again. When we arrived at her place, I gave her a hug and waited for her to make it in safely. When I got home, she'd emailed me wondering if I made it home ok. She'd told me she had a good time. On our second date which was only a few days ago, I'd picked her up from school. I got out of the car, gave her a hug, and opened the door for her ( I did it every time, even on our first date.) We start off talking about her grand father because he'd passed away. I showed her how much concerned about him I was by asking a lot of questions about him. I'd told her that morning I had new Japanese words that I'm going to say to her. So when we got on the freeway, she said "ok, now what about the words you'd learned". Every time when I finish a word, she’ll pat me and say “what else”. So we’re driving on the freeway for about an hour. We made it to the mall where we’d planned to go, so I treated her to Starbucks. We sat there discussing her school. We sat there for about an hour or so. Then she started teaching me Japanese, she seemed so excited to teach me. Anyways, after spending about an hour there, I told her I want to show her something. So I drove up to the mountains so she could see into the city at night. When we got there, I’d faced the car facing the city. She was very happy to see that. It was night time, the twilight was just setting. We’d sat there for 30 minutes. We started heading back to her area which is an hour away. She brought one city to my attention that I know well. She said that she wants to go there, so I told her that I’d take her. We’re going there in 3 days.

We also discussed places where we want to see, some places we’d showed the same interest. So there is another place that we’d planned to go around the 1st of Jan 06. Anyways I pull up to her place, I told her that I really enjoyed the night, I told her “don’t forget your cd!” she said no, you keep it. I get out of the car, we gave each other a hug and said our goodbyes. When I got home, she’d told me she really enjoyed the night. She also said she’d never been to a place to see into the city here in the US. She said that I’m wonderful, very nice, and kind, and so on. I reply back telling her the same things. I added, I think about you all the time!

I’d also told her Thanks for the CD, when I listen to it, it’ll remind me of you! The next day she, she sends me a text message saying that she just read the email.

She told me that with a smile.



I’m sorry to make this story long, I just wanted everyone to get an overview of what has been going on before I ask the question. I’m just wondering if she likes me or not. I haven’t told her, nor has she mentioned anything to me. We’d never actually kissed or held hands. I really like her, we’d never talked about any future relationships or anything just mostly family, school, work, places to see, English, Japanese, culture, and so on. She told me that she really enjoys my company.

Would she plan to go some places far if she didn’t like me?? I’d offered to buy her something which isn’t cheap. At first she denied it, but I kept bugging her that I’d buy it for her so you can think of me when she has it. In 2 days I plan to take her to another place to see into the city, but it’s higher up, after that I’m taking her to a private beach area, which has night lighting from the expensive homes. I know she’d love it. Please if anyone can help me, I’d appreciate it dearly. I like this girl a lot.

She’s going to another college across the states soon and I want to leave my heart with her!

Thank you so much.

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RomanceClass.com Advice
I don't know enough about the Japanese people to give you a good answer.

You should talk with her about your feelings. Obviously she likes you and enjoys your company. I'm not sure what your feelings or motivations are... you didn't make that clear. She is moving soon... do you expect or want to have a long distance romance with her?

Communications is the important thing. You know each well enough now to exchange some pretty deep feelings and share your thoughts. So do it and stop wondering what she is thinking. If she is unwilling to discuss these things then that means she is not very deeply attached or attracted to you.

My guess is that she is attracted to you. But beyond that it is only guesswork.

Ask her and find out! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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