Ok, this is the my story... (please bare with me)...
About 3-4 years ago I started talking to this girl, (who is in another country) on MSN. I talked to her for a while and after about 4-5 months, I went on holiday to visit some relatives and I met up with her. (I have relatives and a house where she lives so I go there pretty much every year).

When I was there, I met her (3 times altogether) and also went to her house and met her parents. (Nothing special, just a polite, social thing over there).

I can tell you that she is like the girl of my dreams. (She doesn't have supermodel looks or anything like that. I just like her)

While I was there, I started phoning her and I even continued trying to call her when I came back home (uk).
But then I found out that she got a boyfriend. (This was after I met her).

When I found out that she'd got a b/f... yep.. it was like I was going to have a heart attack or something.
After that, I stopped calling her and just lost contact with her (she hardly came online again).

(Fast forward about 1 year)...
A year afterwards, I moved country (to where she is) to try out my own business. I was quite pre-occupied with what I was doing but when I did arrive there, I did call her once, just to tell her that I was in the country. (I didn't want her to find out that I was there from her friend that I know). After that it was all quiet again.

(Fast worward about another year)...
After staying over there for about 1 year. All of a sudden, one day she started chatting to me online. (I did see her online occasionally, but we never chat).
We started talking and she said that she liked talking to me because I was understanding so we ended up talking nearly everyday, online, with quite a few txt msgs after a few months too. We talked pretty much about everything. She even told me about her b/f or when they had arguements.

After talking nearly everyday for a year I went out and met her a few times (3 times to be exact). She was going out to some conference and invited me along.
At that time, I was planning to come back to the UK because business wasn't going too well.
I did get to have dinner with her on my last night before I flew back. (This was about 4 months ago).

Anyway, as you might have guessed, I was still talking to her online pretty much everyday. And then... on Valentines Day, she told me that she broke up with her b/f. She said that she loves him but he doesn't love her and doesn't care about her...
If you guys are still reading this, I know you'll probably be thinking that I am jumping around the room and taking out the champaign but I didn't. I really, really felt bad. Like having that heart-attack feeling again when she told me how sad and dissapointed she was (with all the crying emoticons). frown
Whenever she tells me stuff about how her b/f made her sad or cry it always makes me feel angry... of myself because I can't say or do anything for her.

After that night that she told me, I realised that I really do still have feelings for her. (She's been in my mind just about everyday when I wake up in the mornings and before I go to sleep).

About a week after that, she told me that she was feeling better and that the other day, she went to get her fortune read... and the fortune teller told her that she's going to meet "The One" in March or May... (which I can clearly see that the fortune teller wasn't talking about me) frown

I have tried dropping hints that I (still) like her to see what she says and I know she likes talking to me, but I'm pretty sure that she only thinks of me as a "friend" or maybe a "good friend".
Me moving back to the UK really doesn't help either. When I spoke to her after that Valentines Day, she told me that she didn't know who to talk to so she called a friend who then told all her other friends, who were all caring and helped her through her hard time.

Now I really, really feel like I've lost my only chance to be able to get close to her. I really feel that if I stayed on a bit longer and didn't move back to the UK then I could have been there for her and maybe, just maybe something might have come good or I might have had the chance to tell her how I really feel about her.

Now today, she told me that she went to the seaside with someone. And I asked her if he was someone new and special. She didn't say "yes" or "No" but she had one of them smiley/shy emoticons.

So... after a month or two from breaking up with her b/f and 3 years from my first heart-ache with her... she has someone new in her life and I'm having to go through that down, heart-attack, loss of will and energy feeling "again" without getting the chance to tell her how I really feel. Then again.... I really should have gotten over her 3 years ago. I was planning to go back in the middle or the end of this year and hopefully get the chance to tell her but I guess that moment will never happen.

I'm so gutted. I feel as though Someone up there really doesn't like me and is playing games with me, or something like that.

I sometimes wish that I should never have talked to her that much (like nearly everyday) over the past year. I sometimes think I should just dissappear and not talk to her again, even if she contacts/talks to me. But then, she won't really know why I've gone quiet. (Probably think that I'm busy). Or should I just carryon and be supportive of her as usual and pretend that nothings going on inside of me? I guess I'll never really get the chance to get close to her or be more than a friend to her. Especially since I'm in another country.

But now... I really think it's time to make a decision....

So, could anyone of you help me? I would be grateful like to hear your opinions.

P.S. Sorry. My writting may be a bit off or may not make sence in some places, because it's about 1:30am at the moment.