Jealousy is sucking the life out of me. I am so confused on why i am torturing myself. I am an attractive woman, I have always had a weight problem but I am curvy in the right places, I have never had a problem with getting male attention. I am divorced at 36 yrs old and started dating a much younger guy, 11 yrs younger and very good looking. We started dating a little over 2 yrs ago and he totally loves me, I see it on his face when I walk in the room but I have become extremely jealous. Overall he's wonderful and treats me very well except for a few lies such as telling me he hasn't talked to certain female friends he had had before we met. Then I will find out that they had been texting. He has even given me the password so I can check the phone bill acct to see who he text. He pretty much never goes out anymore with friends because he knows it stresses me out. We live a half hour apart from eachother and only spend about one day apart a week but that one day we're apart I call several times with different excuses just to make sure he is at home. I am constantly looking around sizing up the females anytime we leave the house watching to see if he is checking them out. Why cant I be one of those girls that dont care if he looks but it really bothers me and is the cause of a lot of fights. He has gotten better about it but I constantly feel now that he is always looking for something better. Although he has never had a problem with our age difference I always tell myself that he would rather have someone younger and I am constantly looking for changes in my body because I feel that he will notice my age. Oh and I even have a problem with nudity on TV which he doesnt understand because I am highly sexual but I totally freak when they show naked women on TV. My bf is a breast man and I am naturally larger then most girls in that department but I have never been happy with them even when I was a teenager. I dont like how they sit. I have always been complimented on them and my bf loves them but I get furious when he see's others in movies. I even try to cover his eyes and he is getting really upset by it. He tells me that it makes him feel like a child and I am going to have to find a way to deal with it. But something snaps inside me, its as if the world is going to end its as if I have a panic attack. I get really mad. What can I do to cope with this, I know it sounds rediculous but it pains me to sit there while he watches other naked women on tv. He tells me to look away then so I dont know what they show but then I flip out and would have a fit not knowing what he is seeing.
