I (26) am married for a bit more than two years and I've been with my husband for a total of more than seven years and I always thought it would really be forever, I love(d) him a lot but our relationship started to feel more like we are brother and sister just sharing a flat, rarely sleeping with each other, which is a major problem for me.
Then I went on holidays to the other end of the world and there I met a really nice young man, it was at a party and I was a bit tipsy and I ended up sleeping with him. Later on we searched for each other on the internet and since we found each other again three months ago we started an internet relationship and I totally fell in love with him. We found out that we have very, very much in common which made me feel like it might have been destiny that i randomly met that guy on the other end of the world and somehow we find out we have almost everything we do and like in common.
Now I don't really know what to do, I feel like that other guy would make me happier than my husband ever can but I feel bad for my husband because I know he loves me and somehow I do still love him too, but more like a brother.
I already booked a flight for February to see that other man again and I'm not sure what to think about that. Sometimes I think I will just see how my feelings for the other man are when I get to see him in person again but then again I think I should already tell my husband.
But I am a bit insecure about that, because if it doesn't work with that other man I would somehow want to give the relationship with my husband another try and see if I can live with a brother/sister-like relationship. Before I met that other guy I thought I'd just wait until we have kids and then I will be too occupied to think about our lack of sleeping with each other. So and if it doesn't work out with that other boy I don't feel like I'd ever tell my husband, why should I, it would only hurt him and I don't want to hurt him for no reason.
And then again I have a bad conscience, but the weird thing is that I have a bad conscience because I don't feel bad about having slept with that other man. So I'm already looking up ways to move to that other country (which I know is weird because I still don't know everything about my new love) and I still don't know how to and if to tell my husband. I don't want to hurt him but I guess the longer I wait the more I will hurt him.
Most of the time I think I will just wait how it will work out when I spend some four weeks with that other boy in February. Maybe it won't work anyway. And four weeks is a long time to spend entirely with one person. But I just think I'm only young once, and if I end up having kids with the wrong person I'm bound for life and I don't want that kind of life.
Oh and there's more to it, I always dreamed of seeing a lot of the world and travelling a lot, but my husband doesn't share that dream and he loves the place we live in, he was born here and grew up here, when we married I had to relocate from the big city I lived in to this stupid small town we live in now and that kind of gives me some passive aggressiveness too. And that sweet boy I met, he never thought about travelling until he met me and he just recently wrote me that since he met me his eyes were opened to the world and he wants to travel the world too, maybe together with me, so that's one more point for him. I always wanted someone to travel the world with. And unfortunately with my husband right now it is like that: if I want to see some country, I have to go there alone because he has no time and no interest to do so. So when I went to that country on the other end of the world I went there alone too. And I don't think that's how it should be in a marriage. I want to see the world with the person I love, it doesn't make me happy seeing sunset in paradise when I'm on the beach alone :-(
So right now I'm in the final phase of my studies and it is really stressy and the whole love thing makes it even worse. When I should be out there working on my dissertation I sit in front of my notebook waiting for a new mail from my new love and when I'm in the library to work on the literature I think about him the whole time. Sometimes I think I'll go crazy with all the pressure inside and outside. I wish I never married my husband, would be a lot easier. He didn't even ask me, we just kind of agreed to marry and set a date. Not very romantic. But well, I thought it was the right thing at that time. When I promised to love him til death may part us I really meant it. Breaking that promise makes me feel really bad, there, the bad conscience is finally kicking in.
It feels good to write this whole story somewhere, I haven't told anyone about it, not even my closest friends. They wouldn't understand how I can not feel bad about having slept with another man. And it has some good self-therapeutic effects writing it all down.
So please, if anyone has some advice for my situation please go ahead and tell me!
(If there are any mistakes in my writing I am sorry, English is not my first language. But I'm training, especially since it is my new love's first language)