Interesting and important topic, I think. I find that about venting actually raising the anger level to be surprising, and worth thinking about. I think Jilly's comments may add the leavening.
Growing up with fear of abandonment, I have always been afraid that argument would lead to "the end." So, when Marge & I got together, and we had our first argument, I thought it was all over. To be able to see the humor, laugh, and still know we would be together, was an eye-opener for me.
We still have our differences in terms of arguments. She tends to let loose with feelings that have kind of stored up, and so we hurt each other a little with words until we work it out. But I prefer talking things out rationally. You know, "This is what makes me angry...."
But, which ever way we do it, I've found it better to talk it out than to let little resentments to build. And I don't think any activity - work or play or punching something - really takes that away like talking it out, and either forgiving, or letting it go (which in a 3way is the same thing).
