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#192364 - 06/18/07 09:16 AM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: Hyacinth]
Birdie Menagerie Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 10/31/06
Posts: 2035
Loc: Georgia
Hyacinth: What about a body lift? I had heard about that. I don't know what that costs though. I know of a woman who is getting that done after losing weight with a gastric bypass.

I think that I would try EHarmony, or that other one had I still been single. It sounds like a great way of meeting someone you are very compatible with. My daughter tried to take the test, and she said it went on and on and on, delving into your deepest areas of thoughts and feelings. She never finished the test. But she was just wanting to see what it was like, she wasn't looking to meet someone.
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#192385 - 06/18/07 11:41 AM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: Hyacinth]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Hyacinth
Hi there, I agree 33 isn't old at all. I'm going to be 31 in a month and also fear that I will live alone amongst a plethera of feline companions. Well.. uh.. that's not really alone, but I'm sure you get the point. I unfortunately have a head start with the cat, one cat. As for Eharmony, It's a great idea, but so darn expensive. My fear of being alone stems from the fact that I used to weigh 400 lbs and underwent gastric bypass. I lost 200 lbs and now have like 40 lbs of skin and fat that just hang. So the fear is that no man is going to want to go out with a blob. Silly, but sadly true.


Hello Hyacinth,

I am really sorry to hear that.

Have you asked your doctor for advice?

There are operations to help with this, but there are dangers involved, too, so you need to find someone good & trustworthy for help & advice.

Maybe there are other things that you can do too. Do ask your doctor for ongoing help.

Good luck! smile
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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#192551 - 06/18/07 08:45 PM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: PDM]
victor Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 01/19/06
Posts: 1347
yes there are surgeries for this - if your weight has truly stablized - called a panniculectomy -
but it is a bigger surgery than it seems - so it should not be done without some thought and a doctor to review the pros and cons.

i would think that in the giant world of gastric bypass surgery patients - that you might even find a companion who has been through the process as well. At the very least, you would have something in common and could relate well ... and if you didn't care about his rolls of skin, he might not care about yours! I don't mean that to sound glib - i'm actually quite serious - it probably is a bonding experience.

Not that you should limit yourself to others who have had this surgery - just that i would think there would be many people out there to meet.

congrats on losing the weight too! even with the surgery - it takes alot of motivation and self control to lose that kind of weight. good job.

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#194015 - 06/23/07 02:48 AM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: victor]
Coco's Mama Offline
Platinum Star Soulmate

Registered: 11/18/06
Posts: 7842
Loc: Ontario, Canada
The biggest accomplishment is to your health, you are so much better off now, you may not look the way you want, (i bet not many people do even the skinny minnies).
I too have heard of that surgery they basically cut off excess and also sometimes cut you in half so to speak and literally lift. It sounds quite serios and dangerous, it would be probably one of the biggest decisions and most serious. Keep in mind you need to do what you want to feel good, but don't doo it just for a man, they should want you for you, and the reall you is the person you are on the inside, i know that sounds so cliche but it is true and will be truer as we age. Even the smaller people will sag and wrinkle.
Right know you should be so proud, what a huge accomplishment, if you have the self control to do that why i would think you could do anything. You are amazing.
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#204678 - 08/06/07 09:19 PM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: Coco's Mama]
Charlett Offline
Friend

Registered: 03/18/07
Posts: 239
Loc: NC
I think we, as women, are just way too hard on ourselves. My husband and I have been married for 14 years, but I had a failed marriage before that, and it was hard. We automatically think that there is something wrong with us. Why is that?

I think getting married later in life is great (33 is NOT too late). It gives you time to figure out who you really are, and what you want out of your life. It can be worth the wait to find that someone who makes you happy and loves you for who you are.

And to the lady who lost the weight. WOW, that is wonderful. You should be so proud. And there is a man out there who will love you for exactly who you are. No changes needed. My husband has always been there for me no matter what my weight has been. And it has been everywhere. Not just for pregnancy either. I have a thyroid problem, and without medicine my weight can really go up.

Really great/wonderful men are out there!

Coco's Mama; I have a brother! He's 37 and not married. Want a long distance relationship!(just kidding, he is a nice man though. I would like to see him have a family. He would be good at it.)
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Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.-- Marie Curie

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#208005 - 08/16/07 06:35 PM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: Charlett]
Four Keets Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 1637
Loc: Orange County, CA
I have given this advice before... it works. I was discussing with a coworker how my roommate is 36 and not married, but very worried and he told me a story about his 38 year old cousin. She had tried finding someone by trying multiple dating sites, bars, etc. and nothing worked. Finally, she decided to take up hobbies. She attended church and started participating in a running club. While many of the people she met were married, they knew single people and set her up on dates. One couple set her up with one of their single friends and she fell in love. The best part of it was that while she was doing these new activities, she broadened her social network and made a lot of new friends as well as found her husband. Maybe take up an activity - I do ceramics which is a ton of fun and I'm dating someone already, but it is a lot of fun to make new friends!!
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Never forget:
Leaf - 11/5/07
Louie - 1/25/08
Bill - 4/16/08
Papeete - 4/21/08

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#208030 - 08/16/07 08:12 PM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: Four Keets]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Yes Four Keets, when finding a man is not the main focus, a man often arrives. I've noticed this with friends, too.
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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#208236 - 08/17/07 12:34 PM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: PDM]
Four Keets Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 1637
Loc: Orange County, CA
PDM - it is so true and so much fun to just live with happiness.
_________________________
Never forget:
Leaf - 11/5/07
Louie - 1/25/08
Bill - 4/16/08
Papeete - 4/21/08

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#227257 - 11/15/07 07:25 PM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: PDM]
Mandy's mom Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 08/11/07
Posts: 1819
Loc: USA
CM MY MOM GOT MARRIED AT AGE 36 you are still young.

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#227927 - 11/17/07 11:11 AM Re: I will be single forever and have to buy many cats [Re: Mandy's mom]
Coco's Mama Offline
Platinum Star Soulmate

Registered: 11/18/06
Posts: 7842
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Cali= That is how old my Dad was too. LOL. That is only 2 years away, and no sign of anyone yet. I have basically thrown in the towel, I need to focus on other things right now anyway. Thanks for trying to cheer me up !
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