RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? what does it mean?need advice

Hi,
I like my daughter's therapist and I thought he liked me too, so I asked him if he was free tonight and he said Nope, that bluntley, did I misread the signs? or is it not professional for him to socialise with a patient's mom? or was he really busy?, I am so embarressed now, and actually feel sick in my stomach, I have never asked a guy out befor, actually a have never been on a date, I am from the middle east where culture rules are to marry who ever dad choses, and that what I did, big mistake, now I am seperated, by the way now I live in a western country and the guy I like is from different relegion and european country, need advice, please, thanks

Hi & welcome. My guess is that he said no because of his profession's ethical limitations --- perhaps he feels it's inappropriate to (as you said) socialize with a patient's mom.

I don't think you should blame yourself! Personally, I think "Good for you!" for asking him out. The worst that can happen is that the man says "No" but it could be for some reason that has nothing whatsoever to do with you. Or maybe he thinks you have a lot of serious things going on right now and you should take your time with dating? (Don't know - just guessing here.)

I agree with everything Pudgie's Mom said.

You should also note that it's part of his job to get along well and be friendly with his clients and their parents, so it's possible that the signs you may have mistook for him liking you were all part of the job on his part.

Hi Sala,
Thanks for your reply, but do u think part of him being friendly with patients moms is to talk about his parents and his upbringing, and noticing I look sad and miles away?

Quite possibly, yes. I'm assuming by "therapist" you mean for emotional health, and so part of his job is to notice emotions, and from my own dealings with helping people out emotionally, the best thing I have to go on are my personal experiences. I also imagine that he's had patients who have been curious about his past, who he is, since it helps them feel more connected.

Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not trying to say that he's being nice to you just because it's his job--he's probably just a nice guy who's nice to everybody--the best kind of therapist.

Hi Sala,
Yes I think he is a nice guy who is may be nice to every one, so why bluntly say NOPE, when I asked if he was fee tonight?, that did hurt?, by the way he is an Osteopath. thanks

I don't know.

You may right--he very well may like you. Depending on how he said "nope," it, too, may have been friendly, or it may have been in such a tone to shut you out, but from what you say, I'd guess the former. Either way, it is generally a nicer response than "No."

Perhaps next time you see him, you could ask again, "What about this evening?", "I really enjoy talking with you, maybe we could meet outside of business sometime." He may already be seeing somebody else.

I really don't know--maybe somebody else on the forum will have more/better advice for you.

Oh no Sala, I could never ever ask him again, that first time was so so hard and the unexpected response hurt so much that I have no idea how I am going to see him again, I am a shy conservative woman, u can only imagine how much I do like him, for me to actually have asked him out, which will never happen again.

Try not to be embarrassed because it was wonderful that you took a step to ask him out. We all commend you on having that courage. My guess... and I think it's a pretty good one... is that under his code of ethics he cannot date a client (even though you are his client's mother, you are a client). Don't give up hope and good job for asking!!

Hi, thanks to everyone who took time to reply or even just to read, I do have another question now, what will I say when I see him again? , unfortunately I do have to see him with my daughter every week, shall I act as if nothing happened and just ignore the fact that he said no to me?, shall I apologise and note that I do understand that it is unprofessional?, or just send my daughter with a friend (but I have never done that before), will that be a childish like act? I am not thinking straight now, I do need advice, by the way I can not tell any of my friends, bec. what I did is so not like me. Thanks again.

Just go there as you have in the previous weeks. Do not apologize because everything you have done is great and you didn't do anything wrong. If it were me, I would just continue acting as I have in the past.

I wouldn't hide and send your daughter with a friend. She is your daughter after all. I understand that you will most likely feel nervous about seeing him again, but do you think you could ask him why he said no? Working in health care myself, the first thing that popped into my mind was medical ethics and confidentiality. Who knows? Maybe he'll say he'd like to see you after your daughter is no longer his patient.
You'll never know until you ask

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Thanks, yes I am nervous, but I will go on Thursday and see him, will keep you posted, by the way I do have another question, he mentioned once that he liked middle eastern food, so I have on several occasions cooked and took for him food, he actually never said that he liked my cooking or not, (friends do say,I am a good cook), but actually thought it might not be to his taste, untill his secretary asked me, if I have a recipe for all the fabelous food that I bring for him!!!
In our culture it's perfecly allright to take food to the doctor, sign of appreciation, but is it ok here?, does it have other meaning to it, I was shocked to see on tv, a guy mentioning that a girl cooked for him and his friend tells him it means she want to sleep wih him!!!!!, I was horrified, hope it does not really mean that, and that is just TV talk, thanks again.

I think it's perfectly fine to take home cooked food to him. And no, it doesn't mean that you want to sleep with him. Just hand over the food and tell him that you appreciate all that he's doing for your daughter.

Once again, good luck!!

Hi, I did go with my daughter today to her appointment and did see him, well it was not as akward as I thought it would be, you actually managed to calm my nurves with your advice (thank you), and some retail therapy helped too, lol
I did not manage to look him in the eye, and we did talk only about my daughter, we usually talk about a lot of things, but I guess, we need time to get back to the way we were.
Looking back now, I am sure I did not misread the signs, like the first time I noticed, is when I was talking to him and he was looking in my eyes, then his eyes went down looking at my chest , then up again into my eyes, then down to my chest again, u can not misread that, and I have noticed several times from the corner of my eye, that he keeps looking at me, then when I turn towards him, he will look down and last week after I asked him out and he said nope, I was getting my daughter ready to leave, I did notice, he was looking at my face as if to asses what I was feeling!!.
Besides, he told me about his mom and dad's proffession and how strict they were bringing him up and that he is still looking for the right woman to marry and so many other things, I do not believe a doctor will tell his patient's mom!!!
any way, I do not regret asking him out, I do not like games, so now he knows I am interested, what ever reason he had to say no, does not matter now, either he asks me out, or explain himself, or be proffessional and stick to beeing a therapist.

Thanks again, and if anything new happens, will let you know.

Well said, and well done. He knows you're interested so now the ball is in his court.
Like the part about retail therapy. Godd for the heart,spirit and soul...just not the pocketbook!!!!!