First, just so that you know where I'm coming from, I have two sons ~ one a little older than you & one a little younger ~ they have both been through some very difficult times ~ and, of course, I know a lot of their friends, all around the same age.
And I've read through your earlier posts.
Now first, how, exactly, does this lack of emotional control affect you?
If you have been told that you are affected by EBD, then it's likely that you are. Some people think that there is too much 'labelling' nowadays and that young people should just pull themselves together and get on with it; others think that things are much better now that problems are diagnosed and help is available.
I should imagine that it could be difficult having a boyfriend whose emotions are slightly 'out of control'. My son has a friend with a similar problem and it can put a strain on his relationships. On the other hand, because his friends understand him, they make allowances and the friendships remain strong.
If this girl is troubled by your behaviour, then it is probably best that she tells you. You wouldn't want her to get ever more frustrated, without you even knowing, would you?
This way, if you are able to do anything, to help yourself deal better with certain situations, she has given you the opportunity to try.
Have you tried to talk calmly with her about this, when you are feeling OK?
Have you been given coping strategies, or any other help, by a counsellor for example?
You say that you are recorded as having 'special educational needs' ~ do you have a mentor who you could talk to about this?
One thing I would say ~ if a 19-year-old girl was becoming overly emotional, then many people would just say that this was normal for a lot of 19-year-old girls. So, why should they feel differently about 19-year-old boys?
You have the same educational pressures and the same teenage hormonal imbalances.
Don't let it get to you too much.