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#256261 - 02/14/08 08:57 PM I really need help!
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
Today i asked the girl of my dreams out and she said yes grin i am so happy but the problem is this is my first girlfriend ever. and i don't know how to be a good boyfriend any advice on how to start holding hands and so on. please i don't want to ruin this relationship. thanks for all the help.

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#256496 - 02/15/08 05:36 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Is this the girl with the lavender pearl bracelet?
I'm glad it has worked out.

She has said yes because she likes you, so just go on being you.

One thing that is usually recommended is to listen to her and be genuinely interested in what she has to say.

And be clean.
I know that many boys are, but you would be surprised at how many think that it's ok to smell, and to have dirty teeth, ears, fingernails, etc, and not to change socks and underwear daily!

Just enjoy yourselves!
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#256533 - 02/15/08 06:39 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
Yes it is the girl i gave the pearl bracelet to and loved it it very embarrassing because there was like 12 people there and she would not give me an answer until was the that asked cause everyone asked for before i had a chance to. but she wants me to lead into holding hands and stuff but i have no clue how to do that. thanks for the advice PDM

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#257000 - 02/16/08 06:31 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
You just take her hand.
It's easy ~ honestly!
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#257009 - 02/16/08 06:39 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
Noel+Syd+Elliot Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 2420
Loc: Tx
aww thats cute!
_________________________
Noel(Parakeet)- 12/26/06-7/18/10
Sydney(Cockatiel)- 5/12/07
Elliot(TAG)- 6-11-08





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#257044 - 02/16/08 07:25 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: Noel+Syd+Elliot]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
Ok i will try it on Tuesday when i see her i really hope she doesn't think I'm rushing into things and things get awkward. and thanks for the advice i will tell you how it goes.

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#257046 - 02/16/08 07:27 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
Noel+Syd+Elliot Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 2420
Loc: Tx
good luck!
_________________________
Noel(Parakeet)- 12/26/06-7/18/10
Sydney(Cockatiel)- 5/12/07
Elliot(TAG)- 6-11-08





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#257049 - 02/16/08 07:30 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: Noel+Syd+Elliot]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
thanks i hope it goes well. if it doesn't i will be extremely embarrassed.

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#257053 - 02/16/08 07:50 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
does anyone know how to make time pass by really fast cause my back is killing me and i need some websites to make time pass.

sorry for being so off subject.

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#257055 - 02/16/08 08:04 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
What have you done to your back?
Perhaps you need an osteopath??
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#257059 - 02/16/08 08:15 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
idk it probably is from my 30 pound backpack but it is starting to feel better but it is so boring cause my girlfriend doesn't want to be bugged on the weekend and i can't ride my bike or nothing physical at all it really sucks. all i want is for it to be Tuesday already so i can hang out with her. i am always depressed at home be cause my mom's brain is basically shrinking and gets mad at me for no reason and today she told me that every thing i do gets screwed up and that she is tired of me. i shouldn't let it get to my head but it hurts every time she says stuff like that. sometimes i feel like killing myself i know its not healthy but my dad doesn't help much and neither do the school counselors. the only time i feel truly happy is when i am with my girlfriend and it helps to just talk about it. it seems like i am not wanted anymore, I'm always so depressed at home. the only thing that remotely helps is my computer or guitar hero. so yea this kinda helped a little.

-Badluck1674

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#257081 - 02/16/08 08:47 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hello Badluck1674 smile

I'm really sorry to hear that you are feeling down. You can always express yourself on here if you need to.

Can't you reduce the weight of your back-pack a bit. It shouldn't be making you ill!

As for your Mum, maybe she's going through a bad patch. Sometimes Mums say things, without realising the effects they might have on the kids. Try not to let it get you down. She probably doesn't mean any of it.

Remember, grown-ups are just kids who have got older. They make mistakes; they say silly things, etc. Of course, they have more experience, so I'm not saying that kids should ignore their parents, but simply that, if they say things that sound uncaring, it may just be thoughtlessness ~ in the same way that other kids can be thoughtless at times. There is no law that says adults must be perfect ~ and most aren't!

Yes, you are right that it certainly isn't healthy to think about killing yourself ~ but teenagers do get depressed because of their age ~ hormones etc ~ and this makes them very emotional & they become sensitive and respond to things differently from most children & adults. Things will get better ~ but if you seriously think of self-harming, do please tell your counsellor, or a trusted teacher or relative!! This is very, very important.

I promise you that many things that may seem really bad now, will not seem so bad when you look back later, so try to be positive. And please tell your counsellor about your worries, about any times when you have thought of hurting yourself, etc. He or she is there to support you. Don't you find him/her very helpful?

You sound like a nice, thoughtful & caring person, so think good thoughts and look forward to a good happy future.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#257083 - 02/16/08 08:48 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
Noel+Syd+Elliot Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 2420
Loc: Tx
I agree. lol and i am one.

Good luck! Hang in there!
_________________________
Noel(Parakeet)- 12/26/06-7/18/10
Sydney(Cockatiel)- 5/12/07
Elliot(TAG)- 6-11-08





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#257118 - 02/16/08 09:14 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: Noel+Syd+Elliot]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
It's not always easy being a teenager!
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#257119 - 02/16/08 09:14 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: Noel+Syd+Elliot]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
it really doesn't help that my dad antagonizes my mom to get her angry and then she takes her anger out on me this has been happening for at least three years now my mom is yelling at me for being on my computer my comfort object. no matter how much i tell her that it relaxes me to be on it she hates all of my technology and doesn't believe me that my back is hurting me. and there is nowhere i can go to clear my head in this small town. this really helps me vent my feelings without being judged. i really an a caring guy and can't stand the thought of hurting other people but me i never have hurt myself yet but i am afraid that i will soon and i can't talk to the counselors because they are really busy try to get kids to pick classes for next year. the only thing keeping me sane are the few friends i have. I'm just going through alot. i really hate the weekends now cause i get so depressed i rarely feel happy at home and when i do it is just for a brief moment. i really don't know what to do it is just really hard to have a mom that is mentally sick that can't be fixed. like she gets mad at me for no reason at all. this doesn't happen just on rare occasions but all the time. i am not doing good in school any more although i try. i just want everything to go away sometimes so i can just be alone. but my mom is always home cause she can't drive. i feel like i have been given a really big burden that can't be passed on to someone else. sorry if i repeat myself but i can't believe how happy i get when i just sit next to my girlfriend if only i could feel like that all the time. thanks for reading this i know it is long but it makes me feel wanted by someone.

-Badluck1674

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#257163 - 02/16/08 09:38 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
You know, I think that changing your user-name to something more positive could be good!

Thinking positive can help ~ not always , I know, but the more negativity you put forward the more negative you are likely to feel, whereas, if you concentrate on the good things, you are more likely to feel better.

As for counsellors, yes, I suppose they do have to sort exams out, etc, but, if you are feeling really down, and worried about hurting yourself, then they would certainly want to know. Have a quiet chat with one you get on with and say that you really need to talk to them about something serious that is worrying you.

If you know that your Mum has mental health problems, then that must be hard for you, but at least you know that she can't help her outbursts, so try to be objective, even though it is difficult for you. It's probably hard for your Dad, too.

When I was suffering from depression, it was really hard on my husband & my child. At least my husband knew why I was as I was, but my little boy didn't and I still feel guilty about that, even though he has now grown up and forgotten all about it.

Try not to let your school work suffer. It can be an outlet for you & a way to get on when you are older.

It's good that you have friends ~ some people don't and it is very hard for them.

Do you like reading? It is possible to really escape into a good book ~ it would give you a break from the computer as well, and it could be educational. You could even get a book on being positive, etc. I really like some of those self-help books.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#257170 - 02/16/08 09:41 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I have to go to bed now as it's the middle of the night here in the Uk, but do feel free to post whenever you want to ~ expressing yourself can help a lot, I think.

Take care!
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#257179 - 02/16/08 09:48 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
Noel+Syd+Elliot Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 2420
Loc: Tx
I would change your name.
_________________________
Noel(Parakeet)- 12/26/06-7/18/10
Sydney(Cockatiel)- 5/12/07
Elliot(TAG)- 6-11-08





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#257295 - 02/16/08 11:09 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: Noel+Syd+Elliot]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
thanks for all the help i feels kinda weird that my girlfriend totally ignores me on the weekend but is all over me during the week. its not because her parents because they like me and i have been to her house and don't care if there daughter dates. thats good i guess. if its 8:00 PM in California What time is it in the UK? I'm going to drink some tea and go to bed early. why do you think she ignores me on the weekend? it makes me confused. well Good night.

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#257550 - 02/17/08 03:33 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I don't know, but there may be some good reason.
Perhaps she is doing homework, or maybe she thinks that you need space from each other, as well as time together.
You will understand each other better as you get to know each other better.

Look after yourself!
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#257752 - 02/17/08 08:35 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
that makes sense. i am happy i just a bunny but don't know what to name it? i still don't know if it is a boy or girl. any suggestions on names? i have had a really calm day today, my mom hasn't yelled at me or anything of the sort so i am in a good mood. it is kinda annoying that every one on my street is going "awwww" to me cause i got a girlfriend.

-Badluck1674


Edited by Badluck1674 (02/17/08 08:36 PM)

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#257908 - 02/18/08 08:23 AM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Fluffy, Bunnikins, Cottontail, Flopsy, Mopsy, Rosie, Betsy, Peter Rabbit, Benjamin Bunny, Munchkin, ...
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#258829 - 02/19/08 06:56 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
me and my girlfriend decided on the name Cotton Candy! i thought it was a cute name, What do you think? things at home have been pretty calm i think my moms new medicine is working! and my back finally stopped hurting.

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#259098 - 02/20/08 09:09 AM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Great!
Great all round! smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#259230 - 02/20/08 03:30 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
Four Keets Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 1637
Loc: Orange County, CA
That is wonderful. Just make sure you do well on your studies because they will help you out in the future a lot more than you realize at this age. smile
_________________________
Never forget:
Leaf - 11/5/07
Louie - 1/25/08
Bill - 4/16/08
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#259326 - 02/20/08 06:08 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: Four Keets]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I really want to do good in school but so many kids are always so mean to me and then i can't concentrate at all. i hope to become a hardware engineer or a pastry chef. I am making Snicker doodles today and i hope they come out ok. i still haven't gotten the guts to hold her hand yet. she torturing me with a secret that i can't find out until i go over to her house again and its driving me bananas.

-Badluck1674

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#259383 - 02/20/08 07:19 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Just stay positive.
School can be very difficult, I know, if others are being unpleasant. Try to ignore it if you can.
Good luck!
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#259428 - 02/20/08 08:37 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
i really try to ignore most of them but most of what they do is physical like in science this kid keeps ramming the desk into my back and even after i ask him to stop nicely he keeps doing it and the teachers don't don't do anything about it at all it is very annoying.

-Badluck1674

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#259452 - 02/20/08 09:06 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Why don't the teachers do anything?
This is very wrong.
Something similar was happening to a friend's son. Bullying kids who are trying to work should be totally unacceptable in schools. Is there no-one you can talk to about this?
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#260117 - 02/22/08 12:00 AM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I still haven't held her hand yet, i do not have the guts to do it you say it is easy but when i am about to go for it, i just can't. i feel really stupid any advice please.

-Badluck1674

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#260208 - 02/22/08 09:54 AM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Stop thinking about it. smile
It's called making mountains out of molehills!
The more you worry about it, the bigger deal it becomes.
One day it will just happen.
Perhaps she'll just take hold of your hand.
Forget about it for now.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#260276 - 02/22/08 12:45 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
Today she broke up with me. i can't stop crying. she didn't even say it to my face but did it in a note. please help me i feel horrible right now. i feel like there is no happiness in me at all. please help me mend my broken heart.

-Badluck1674

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#260278 - 02/22/08 12:59 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hi there.

Do you know why she broke up with you?
It all sounded so positive!
I am so sorry. It will hurt ~ a lot ~ but broken hearts do mend, so try not to let it get you down ~ please!

Remember, it is always good when both people feel that the relationship is right for them. If it wasn't right for her, then, no matter how much you thought it was right, it wouldn't be right for you, either.

Time heals. All will be well ~ honestly! smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#260791 - 02/23/08 04:47 AM Re: I really need help! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
sep780 Offline
New Member

Registered: 02/01/08
Posts: 20
Loc: Minnesota
My advice, if holding hands doesn't feel natural, it's not time to be doing that yet. Same thing goes for kissing.

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#260792 - 02/23/08 04:50 AM Re: I really need help! [Re: sep780]
sep780 Offline
New Member

Registered: 02/01/08
Posts: 20
Loc: Minnesota
Sorry, I didn't read everything that was posted before I posted mine previous one.I'm sorry your heart was broken. Trust me I know how that feels. My first boyfriend (we dated for 4 months) just broke up w/ me 25 Sep. It's a day I'll never forget & I date I never will partly because it was the day before my youngest sisters 20th b-day.

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#260823 - 02/23/08 10:48 AM Re: I really need help! [Re: sep780]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Romance can be wonderful, but it can also cause problems.
One day Mr or Miss Right will come along.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#260826 - 02/23/08 10:59 AM Re: I really need help! [Re: PDM]
big bad momma Offline
Copper Star Soulmate

Registered: 02/23/07
Posts: 4370
Loc: n.y
welcome to the forum.frist date,feeling nervous don't be it can be a wonderful experience.find out what instrest her,talk gently as the two of you are walking,just take her hand.when you take her home a lttle light kiss is o.k. but dont force it if she kinda step back,just smile and sayI had a great time good night.
_________________________
when you wish upon a star,you pray you wish comes true.

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#260863 - 02/23/08 12:39 PM Re: I really need help! [Re: big bad momma]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
His girlfriend has broken up with him, so he is feeling very down right now.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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