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#286511 - 05/01/08 08:23 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Good luck!
But try to get her to see a doctor or counsellor as well! smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#286548 - 05/01/08 10:03 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: PDM]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
I can't remember if I have already asked this, but I am afraid to bring up therapy with her because I fear that she will get mad at me again and then stop talking to me about any of this stuff. How should I go about asking her to do this?

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#286570 - 05/02/08 12:14 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
joandboys Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 08/26/07
Posts: 2101
Loc: New York
Have you brought it up before, and if so what was her reaction exactly? In the meanwhile, I think that you might pose that question to a professional. They could council you on just the right approach for someone suffering from her symptoms. It isn't so much of a problem if she get's angry at you and stops talking. More importantly, she may get turned off on the idea of seeing a professional. If you approach it right the first time, that may be the first and only best time and opportunity to convince her. I would definitely call a community mental health line and explain the situation and ask for a referral to someone who can give you advice. Sometimes, if you call a Dr.'s office, and explain to the receptionist that you have a problem and need to know who to talk to. They can put you in touch with free services. I would make sure it is a psychiatrist that specializes in teenage problems like cutting and suicide. Make sure they understand it is anonymous.(No Names)
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Cookie and Sweetie

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#286588 - 05/02/08 04:13 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Yes, her potential reaction has to be taken into account ~ and finding the right time is essential.

It's difficult, but sometimes, with friends you care about, who are not helping themselves because they are so immersed in negative feelings, you have to just be straight with them.

I think I'd say something like:

I hope that you trust me as a friend and know that I wouldn't do anything that I thought would be bad for you.
I know that you might not be happy about what I am about to say, but I care about you and I am very concerned about you.
You have indicated that you are not feeling happy about things and I feel that counselling might help you through this.
Why not just give it a try?
I'll even come with you, if you'd like me to.
Just promise me that you will think about it ~ please!


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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#286798 - 05/02/08 05:26 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: PDM]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
I guess, but she is very headstrong. If I bring it up and she doesn't like it, she won't even give me time to finish the sentence after she hears the word therapy.

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#286817 - 05/02/08 05:53 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
joandboys Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 08/26/07
Posts: 2101
Loc: New York
You are one of her last closest friends, you have influence by being that. I don't think she will push you away if you approach it as PDM has said. She certainly won't stay angry, and you will probably have another chance.
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Cookie and Sweetie

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#287814 - 05/05/08 12:39 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: joandboys]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
I brought therapy up tonight and she just simply said F That and she didn't think she needed it and I tried to explain why I thought she did, and she didn't really care.

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#287823 - 05/05/08 01:34 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
joandboys Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 08/26/07
Posts: 2101
Loc: New York
I don't know what to tell you. I think you need to ask a therapist how to proceed. If she refuses to get help it is only further proof of how little she values herself. Sometimes intervention is a possibility, but that would mean telling her family and friends. At some point, you may have to do that to save her life. Right now you still have choices that are more descreet. I would definitely consult with a therapist. They are trained to deal with people and ways to get them to seek help. Is she still under 18. If so, until she turns 18 her parents still have some say over whether she gets into a rehap situation for the cutting.
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Cookie and Sweetie

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#287865 - 05/05/08 10:16 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: joandboys]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
She turned 18 on April 15th, a little bit before that was when I started noticing all these changes in her attitude.

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#287871 - 05/05/08 10:25 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Well, her 18th birthday is a good reason for that party you organised.

Other than that, I agree with Joandboys, it's difficult knowing what to say. Somehow you need to balance her health and welfare with keeping her trust and not betraying confidences. yes, perhaps asking the advice of a counsellor, without actually naming names, might be worthwhile.

Why is she so against counselling?
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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