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#289401 - 05/08/08 11:51 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: PDM]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
I know it's not good for her health, and yes it is illegal where I am. And she wasn't doing it to fit in, she put herself with people so she could try it. Se searched for somebody who would let her try it. That was a couple weeks ago, but she was going to do it last night and then she bailed apparently.

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#289459 - 05/08/08 01:54 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I wish I could do more to help.

Some people just won't let themselves be helped, unfortunately.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#289863 - 05/09/08 12:32 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: PDM]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
She tells me she has gone through a phase like this before and she will get through it just like before, but I guess you're right, she just doesn't want to be helped. I'm just basically showing her that I am done with our bf/gf relationship right now and she appreciates that I'm finally giving her space, so maybe that will help her get out of this slump faster.

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#289873 - 05/09/08 03:30 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
That's possible.
Without knowing her and the situation, it's very hard to say.
This must be hard for you, too.

Take care & good luck ~ to both of you.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#291098 - 05/12/08 02:33 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: PDM]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
I anonymously told her mother everything, she knows that she's been sneaking out, smoking, and has had sex with somebody. She knows everything now, and is just waiting for her to get out of school in about an hour. I have to sit back and wait and see what happens. I decided today that she will not make the right decisions on her own, so I had to tell somebody who could actually have some control on her life.

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#291190 - 05/12/08 06:22 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I do hope that you have done the right thing.
This is such a difficult situation for you. smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#291329 - 05/13/08 11:01 AM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: PDM]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
Ok, it seems that maybe what I did was just the push to get her out of this slump, or at least stop sneaking out and smoking and that xxxx, she may still feel this way and stuff, but that's what the party's for to make that part of her life better. After I told her mom everything, and her mom confronted her about it, they got into an argument, and basically her mom kicked her out of the house and said if you leave you are never coming back in until you clean up all this xxxx you've been doing. So, I know that sounds bad that it got her kicked out of her house, but I have faith that everything will work out in some way, shape or form. Now she is staying at my house for a little while just to find out what to do next. The best thing about this is: Her mom called her job and they are now going to do a drug test on her, so either she fails and gets fired, or she scrambles to de-tox because she smoked on Sunday, and it apparently takes a week to get out of the system naturally. So she is freaking out about losing her job and de-toxing, and what she has to do to de-tox is not a very fun thing, she has to drink one of those huge bottles of water with some weird stuff in it to help clean her system.

Well, as bad as this all sounds, the best is yet to come. When I went to pick her up from her house, she looked at me deep in my eyes and said "Listen, I am really sorry..." I said "for what?" and she said "You tried so hard to protect me from all this xxxx, and keep me from getting into this situation, and I just pushed you away and didn't listen, and now it's coming around and biting me in the butt. I'm so sorry that I didn't listen to you, just go ahead and say 'I told you so' because you did" and I just simply said "Listen, everybody makes mistakes, I'm not going to say that because I'm not going to kick you while you are down, I didn't want this all to happen, but I am glad you learned your lesson." And since then I have asked her a couple times to make sure she isn't going to do it again, and she just says "Honestly, it's just too much of a hassle, and I don't ever want to deal with this xxxx again."

So maybe, despite the fact that she got kicked out of her house, I think that this was just what she needed to realize what she was doing to herself and how bad she was messing up. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if she actually stops because all this happened only yesterday and she hasn't really had a chance to do anything again. But I really think she will not do it again, she seemed very sincere about what she said, and she is actually opening up to me again, and letting me talk to her about it, sometimes when I bring it up, she sounds a little bit annoyed because I kind of keep repeating myself, but she is actually telling me why she did stuff, who with, ect. And she just sounds all together sorry.

Oh, also, since I have a two story house, she can't really sneak out of the window, and she can't go down my stairs to get out because they creek and are right next to my dad's door. So that's another good thing about her staying with me, I can kind of keep an eye on her better, so that she can't sneak out or do anything to hurt herself. Most of all, I hope that the way I am reacting to this and being there for her and doing everything I can to help her, shows her that I still really love her, and that I will stick by her side no matter what happens.

Let's hope for the best. I will keep everybody updated, but for now, it seems to have worked out. If you are religious, please keep her in your prayers, because it couldn't hurt.


Edited by PDM (05/13/08 02:01 PM)

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#291376 - 05/13/08 02:01 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I really hope that everything starts to pick up for her again now and that you will both be all right. smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#293850 - 05/23/08 02:06 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: PDM]
TheTangeMan Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 33
We are getting better, there is still a lot of mending in our relationship, but I think we are on the long road to recovery, because she has sworn to not do any of this xxxx again. And admitted that what she was doing was kind of dumb.


Edited by PDM (05/23/08 08:24 PM)

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#293924 - 05/23/08 08:25 PM Re: I don't know what to do... [Re: TheTangeMan]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Well done!
Keep up the good work.
Good luck to you both!
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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