RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up HELP!!!

HI im in desperate need of some help. My ex and i were goin out for a year and decided to take a break. I acted to desperate im afraid i pushed her away. All her friends tell me to move on she doesnt like me anymore but i refuse to believe it because we had both fallen head over heels in love for each other. The other day at church i kept lookin over my shoulder only to find her staring at me multiple times. I still love her and want to be together. I think she is trying to ignore me because she is afraid of falling for me again. I dont no what to do please help me

Have you spoken directly to her about this. That might be the best way to tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels.

I tried when we first broke up but i think i acted to desperate. Do you really think all feelings could be gone we were each others first true love.

Was it her idea to "take a break?"



It depends on what the feelings were. Love, lust, infatuation or a combination of all. Yes the feeling could be so deminished that you could call them gone. Since this was you first love I am guessing that you are in your teens. This is not what you want to hear, but it may be better to move on. It sounds like she has moved on and think about it, do you want her back if you don't really have what you had before.

Well she told me when we first broke up and i agreed with her that we were fighting way to much. She said we need to become better friends before we tried again. She made it very clear she wanted to try again. With that she gave me a big hug and left. Now I havent talked to her in about 3 weeks ive been talking to her friend. The problem with this is i used her to get to my ex before we started dating. After we were together i stopped talking to her. All this stuff is based on what she said. Could she be getting back at me

any help???

Call her and ask her if the two of you could get together for coffee or lunch and to talk. Pick a place that has a quiet atmosphere away from mutual friends. Suggest the place you have in mind and that you both meet there.

Nothing is going to take the place of a face to face discussion to really know how she feels. Remind her of her statement about being better friends and tell her that is what you want also. Catch up on what is happening with her and keep it on a non pressure level. The fact that you take the initiative says volumns about how you feel toward her. I'm sure that you will get the answers you need, one way or the other.

On another thread you say:


So how far do you think that parents were associated with your break-up?

And you started another thread:


I think it's best if you just keep this problem to one thread, so I'll close that one.
http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=302736#Post302736

Zack, I agree with BLR & Jo, that you should talk to her ~ quietly & objectively, without pressure.

She is the only person who can tell you how she really feels ~ not her friends, or anyone else.

She may be unsure, but at least you will get closer to the truth.

Good luck!

well thanks guys lol i just got back from church and she was there very akward and now she is trying to make me jealous with some guy saying o i cant wait for him to get back so i could hear what should i make of this

Hi

Either she wants you to show her that you are still interested ~ because she is too; or she wants to prove to you that she's not interested; or she wants you to show that you are still interested, so that she can then prove that she is not.

Who can say?
You can only ask her.

How old are you both, by the way?

I agree!

Were both 16 the thing is i think i pushed her away right after the breakup i just dont wanna ruin any other chance i might have but i really just wanna pull her aside and just put it all on the line.

And another thing is she is giving me mixed signals. She wont talk to me but she will stare at me for the longest time im not sure what she wants with that am i missing something or is it just all women are very confusing

Yes, all women are very confusing. Eventually you will learn the signs and signals and body language and what they indicate. One thing you could do is read a few good books on dating and the opposite sex. I will tell you, that you can never go wrong by just being yourself, being honest, being genuine, being kind, being gentle, being considerate, being patient and being faithful. But most of all, communicate. You can waste your time wondering what something means or you can just ask her.

Your right im just really nervous thats all

I no i can ask her but like i said i did waaaay to much asking right after the break up. I just dont want to jump in to early and her freak out and get scared and never talk to me again. I dont know if she is expecting me to speak first

Zack, look at it this way. If she was going to talk to you she would have already. If you don't talk to her, you will continue to worry and speculate. In the meanwhile you are suffering more than if you just get it together and Speak to her. It doesn't have to be an in depth interogation. Just ask her how she is doing. If the conversation goes well then tell her that you would like to do exactly what she said, "get to be better friends"

This next step is important... Ask her how she thinks you both should do that.

She is either going to tell you she doesn't know how or she is going to tell you it isn't a good idea or she is going to ask you what you think. Or she isn't going to answer you. I think it will be one of the first three. You know how to handle the second and third one.

If she says she doesn't know how, you could ask what she thinks about haveing lunch some day or studying together at the library.

These are not the usual dating situations, so if she has a problem with these then perhaps you should simply ask her if she would prefer not to be friends and have contact with you.

What do you have to loose at this point. Suffer not knowing or come to the point and get an answer.

Thanks jo I guess i will get it together and pull her aside on sunday. Just hope she gives me the time of day.

Good Luck, I'm rooting for you.

If you find that you really cannot speak to her, then a friendly note, explaining yourself and asking for her view of the situation might help.