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#334115 - 10/26/08 10:03 PM is this normal?
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
Ok so me and my girlfriend text alot and most of the time we RP (roleplay) where we do actions like -hugs- and we found out we like doing bondage type things like that and occasionally shirts are removed. we both enjoy doing this but sometimes she gets a bit uncomfortable and we stop which is fine by me. do you think it is normal for us to be doing these types of things at 15? we haven't done any of these things in real life yet but it might happen soon on halloween when i get to have alone time with her. we haven't even shared our first kiss in real life. so is it normal for us to be into bondage at this age?

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#334186 - 10/27/08 10:03 AM Re: is this normal? [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Just keep it sweet & innocent at this stage.

Otherwise you could spoil the relationship and cause your & her parents to worry. They may even want you to have less to do with each other. That wouldn't be good.

Enjoy young love. It's special.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#334193 - 10/27/08 10:51 AM Re: is this normal? [Re: PDM]
428pm Offline
Long Time Friend

Registered: 04/30/08
Posts: 959
My significant other and I share a bdsm relationship.....If you would like to pm me with any question, I can try and help you.

I think any sex act at your age is something to be very careful of and take slow. Make sure you are both ready, and responsible.

I don't know that messing with bondage is a very good idea at your age. Teens tend not to have their boundaries as clearly defined as adults do. It is something that comes with experience. Also communication is something that is as important as the games that are played with this sort of thing, and a 15 year old's sexual communication isnt the same as say, a 28 yr old's.

There are times when a young girl will thinks she is ready, and wants something only to abruptly change her mind mid um...'action' That is normal, and perfectly ok. But if you are playing role games while this happens, things may get confused.

I would suggest, as someone with a lot of experience with this type of pleasure....Wait until your a little more matured.

There is nothing wrong with role playing, bondage or any of those things, as long as everyone is a consenting ADULT. But you guys arent quite there yet.

I wold strongly suggest, think long and hard about whether you are both ready for even vanilla play.
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#334195 - 10/27/08 10:57 AM Re: is this normal? [Re: PDM]
kksuns Offline
Platinum Star Soulmate

Registered: 07/29/08
Posts: 7605
Loc: upstate NY
I think that the "idea" of bondage at your age is probably normal to be curious about considering it's only "virtual bondage" lols I know lots of teens are into the RP thing but don't let it get out of hand. In the virtual world it's probably all just fun and games to you two (I hope)and going "too far" even virtually is probably really creepy esp for a girl. As far as in real life NO BONDAGE!!!! The way you said we haven't done these things in real life YET really scares me.You're waaaaay to young for such a thing. Take it slow, start with holding hands and kissing. You're only 15 for God's sake! If your or her parents ever found out about the whole bondage business virtual or not they'd probably totally freak and you sure wouldn't be able to see each other in the real world again. So anyway ya might want to cool it on the bondage thing. Have a Happy Halloween, stay safe, and behave yourself! LOLS
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#334220 - 10/27/08 12:31 PM Re: is this normal? [Re: kksuns]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I think i should have gave a bit more details about what we do. We don't do anything sexual even though shirts come off sometimes. One of us takes control and ties the other one up and then just cuddle. Kinda funny in my opinion. Gags are normally involved and if either one of us gets uncomfortable we stop immediately. On Halloween i know i am going to get tied up but that is fine by me, i find it fun and if i want to stop she will let me out. We know that this is a little more mature than we are and never go beyond removal of shirts, it almost went to pants removal but i got uncomfortable and we stopped. We have good communication and talk often about everything and anything. We don't get to see each other often and texting is the only way of communication most of the time. Hope this cleared up any confusion of what we were doing.

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#334224 - 10/27/08 12:40 PM Re: is this normal? [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Just be careful. Really, I think, at this stage, it would be wiser to keep to innocent hand-holding and maybe an innocent kiss and cuddle.

Remember to keep things innocent. You are both young and vulnerable. Don't let things get out of hand.

And remember that your parents and hers may see things differently from the way you do.

Be very careful!
Some things can go wrong & be dangerous ~ don't do anything dangerous.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#334229 - 10/27/08 01:16 PM Re: is this normal? [Re: PDM]
kksuns Offline
Platinum Star Soulmate

Registered: 07/29/08
Posts: 7605
Loc: upstate NY
Hey whoa!! Slow down there bud. I know that at 15 you think you're pretty mature and have things under control and all that but really...step back and play it safe for a while.Try starting at step one, don't jump all the way to step 589 lol It's great that you have a good relationship and can talk about anything & everything without getting embarassed and all that.You're off to a good start! But don't be tying each other up whether you think you can trust each other or not.Things have a way of getting out of hand sometimes and can go bad real fast. I'd hate to see either of you get hurt physically or emotionally. And sometimes with emotions and hormones running high you or she could do something you'll reeeallly regret in the morning..if ya get my drift? Be safe..And ALWAYS remember no means NOOO Damned if I don't sound like "Dear Abbey" right now -yikes!
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#334276 - 10/27/08 04:25 PM Re: is this normal? [Re: kksuns]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: kksuns
.... But don't be tying each other up whether you think you can trust each other or not....

No, it really could all go very wrong, in various ways.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#334296 - 10/27/08 06:09 PM Re: is this normal? [Re: PDM]
kksuns Offline
Platinum Star Soulmate

Registered: 07/29/08
Posts: 7605
Loc: upstate NY
Xenoki, Seriously...I am really getting a bad feelin about this whole bondage thing. Please nix that idea ok? My kids would both tell you that when I get a bad feelin or bad "vibes" about something that you should really pay attention to them. Please go out with your girl on Halloween and have some good safe fun.You said you don't get much time together so don't screw up what time you do have with a potential disaster. Only tryin to look out for your best interest k?
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#334322 - 10/27/08 07:43 PM Re: is this normal? [Re: kksuns]
428pm Offline
Long Time Friend

Registered: 04/30/08
Posts: 959
Xenoki....I am a VERY open minded individual person abotu this thing...It is a lifestyle for me. I know pretty much every thing there is to know about this particular 'quirk'

What you and your girlfriend are engagin may well nto always be sexual...My fiance and I dont always engage in sexual bondage either. But it is bodange nonetheless. A common misconception is that bondage involves sex. It doesnt always, it doesnt MOST times in fact. It has more to do with bonding, trust, control, submission and domination. These are all things that, at your age, you should be staying away from. There is an amount of maturity and experience that is required when dealing with this type oif thing, even as simple and innocent as the things you and your girlfriend are doing.

The thing is, no one here is saying that bondage is wrong. It's not. It's safe, healthy and ok-if done right. The problem isn't the games you two are playing...It is that you guys are a little too young to understand all the mental and emotional repercussions that may come with these particular actions.

Liek I said before, bondage is not only about sex. Anymore than vanilla sex is. There is a mental and emotional attachment to these actions that are difficult for even most adults to grasp, let a lone a boy of your age, no matter how mature.

It is not a matter of how smart you are, or how mature you are for your age. It is a matter of having the years of experience, and self discovery behind you.

There are alternatives to physical bondage that could be used considering your ages...Simply voice commands and such. But I would recommend keeping your relationship innocent and not progressing until you are BOTH SURE that you are ready.
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