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#337722 - 11/14/08 04:37 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I don't know enough to truly understand. I don't know your boyfriend, his parents, your dad - even you. But I think it is too soon for major changes.

You are not wanting to open up to the social worker because of your need to study for exams, which is to make your Dad proud of you.

And you are not talking to your boyfriend or your Dad (I'm guessing) about all that is going on with you.

The feeling that I'm getting is that the talking - with all of them, at varying levels - is going to be the way that you get to a happy medium.

By that, I mean at a coping level - where you can look at yourself without cringing but not forget you are there, either.

It might be that the worries you sense with your boyfriend might be more about concerns for you than you know.

Take your exams, and then take the step which will start to make you happier with yourself.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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#337755 - 11/14/08 07:03 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Would your boyfriend prefer to stay with his parents, in spite of the arguments?
Or would he be happy to go to boarding school?
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#337871 - 11/15/08 03:45 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Thanks for the advice Carl. It's much appreciated.

Ma'am PDM, I'm no sure how he feels about it.

But... what my boyfriend told me today tore me up inside. He said in a SMS: "Sometimes I dream, sometimes I wish and sometimes I pray to be with [insert girl's name]." How is this supposed to make me feel?! To be honest, I don't know how I feel. Confused might be the proper word. My emotions are mixed: love, depressed, rage. Like I pointed out before: I'm really sensitive when it comes to him. But I mean... this make me feel kinda worthless... I don't know what to do or what to say!!!

Everyone, I really need your help. I... I feel like slitting my wrists! I WANT to do it... I want to see my own blood run.

Am I really that worthless? I don't feel as though I am worth anything. I just want to die so that everyone can live happier lives. My boyfriend wouldn't have to put up with me: It's obvious that I'm burdening him and putting too much pressure on him. My dad wouldn't have to worry about me and paying school fees and such. My mother would have me completely out of her life.

I don't know... I want to give up. I've been fighting for too long now. I can't do this alone... but no one is willing to fight alongside me. I was tempted to take my craft knife and cut myself.

I want to cry... but I can't cry now...
_________________________
"My name is my law"

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#337893 - 11/15/08 07:11 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
You don't know me, and have no reason to trust me. Nonetheless, I am talking straight to you, and I hope you will listen now. Things are NOT as obvious as you think. When we are down emotionally, everything we see seems to be taking us down.

Some of them are, true. But not all. And whether the things around us are negative or not, YOU are worth more than this.

You are not worthless. And we are on your side. And so you are not alone. As far as fighting alonside you, first you have to fight. By fighting, I mean you have to decide to seek professional help.

That, in my opinion, has to come first before anything else - school, exams, boy friend, parents, anything.

We care!
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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#337904 - 11/15/08 09:53 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hello Raven. smile
Yes. The time has come.
Exams are not as important as you are.
You must speak to someone who can help and support you through this.
You need your social worker / counsellor now.
Can your father help, too?
You cannot concentrate on exams properly, anyway, feeling like this.
You are not worthless. You are a decent caring girl who needs to be loved and appreciated ~ not just by others, but by you, yourself.

People care about you. You need to be positive and you need support so that you can become more positive.
You are not alone.

You are not the only teenager feeling as you do.

I'll let you into a secret now (I may have told you some of it before smile ). When I was a teenager, I suffered a lot with depression. I never cut myself. However, I used to make my mother remove all sharp objects from my bedroom at night, because night-time was the worst time for my depression and I was scared of what I might do.

When I suffered depression as an adult, I used to think that I couldn't bear it if life continued to be like that ~ teetering on the edge of a black hole.

But I also knew that life would not continue like that ~ and I was determined to see the light at the end of that tunnel.

I still get depressed at times ~ and it is extremely scary, but it passes.

I am guessing that 'cutting' is somehow related to depression.
It could be related to the things that have happened in your past.
It could be related, also, to teenage hormones / teenage depression / teenage angst.
You are not going to be the only person going through such things, but you may be more sensitive & vulnerable than most.

But the light is there at the end of that tunnel for you too.
With the help that you need, you can sort yourself out and have a very happy and successful life.

I am sorry about what your boyfriend has said.
It is possible that he has almost 'invented' a dream girl, because real life is so complicated for him.
But if this is a genuine friendship, that they have, then he could be becoming very fond of her, even though he cares a lot for you.
This sort of thing happens in teenage relationships.
Hopefully yours can take the strain, but, if not, you must not think that this is anything specifically negative about you; it is just the way of the world with young love.

Take care of yourself, Raven. smile
Does your social worker help you in the way that you would wish?
If not, then please make sure that you tell her everything.
She cannot help you with things that she does not know about.

We care about you.
We want to hear that you are doing well and getting help. smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#337950 - 11/16/08 12:24 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
I can't ask my father for support. He'll get mad at me if he knew everything that was going on and he would take my boyfriend away from me.

The reason I cut myself is because I can handle physical pain better than emotional pain. I've been hit and thrown many times, so I've become quite immune to physical hurt.

Dream girl or not, just thinking about it ticks me off to the point of me trashing my room.

I'll tell SOMEONE everything as soon as I can. My best bet is Tuesday.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

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#337954 - 11/16/08 01:25 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Whom has hit and thrown you? Your father?

Tuesday, then. Good. Keep to your plan.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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#337955 - 11/16/08 02:16 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
A problem shared is a problem halved, Raven.
There are people who can help you.
You don't have to keep bottling things up, until you feel like exploding.
Take care smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#337956 - 11/16/08 02:35 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
I'd rather keep the information of the person who hit and threw me too myself, if you don't mind. I'm not ready to tell just yet.

I will let you guys know what happens after my chat. It's time for me to tell my boyfriend that I've cut myself. He'll find out sooner or later so I better tell him now.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

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#337960 - 11/16/08 04:08 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I wasn't trying to trick you. I'm just concerned about you, and want you to be safe. Whatever you've been told, or think, please think about this: nobody has a right to abuse another person. And we're not helping them, or ourselves, if we allow it to continue.

If you are going to wait until Tuesday to talk to the social worker, can I have your promise that you'll not harm yourself? Whether you talk to your boy friend, or not? And whether he says the right thing,or not?

I care about what happens to you. You should, also. And you will someday. Do it for the future you. Give yourself time to get through this.

_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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