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#326962 - 09/15/08 12:14 AM HELP ME!!!
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I am so close to going insane, i have even considered suicide just to make it all go away. My mom is sick and there is no hope of her getting better. She is always made at me for some reason and never seems happy i am home or anything. I try to get some alone time but she comes in my room with some reason to yell at me. If i try to defend myself my dad yells at me for yelling at my mom. He sticks up for me and tells my mom to leave me alone but it never has helped. she never leaves me alone and every day i dread coming home because i know she will yell at me. If i don't come home right after school both my mom and dad yell at me and ground me. If i tell my parents i am going somewhere to get away from it all my mom is calling my cell every 5 minutes wanting to know where i am, if i ignore the call i get yelled at. The school counselors don't help at all. i am never happy anymore and am always stressed out with school and home i never get any time alone. Even though i have a girlfriend that makes my face light up like the sun i never get to see her. Nothing seems o make me laugh anymore let alone smile. Somethings that used to make me smile don't work anymore. i think i am becoming depressed. My grades are slipping and i don't care anymore. everything seems pointless now. I can hardly sleep anymore, I am just a wreck. This is not the life a 15 year old should have. material possessions don't bring a smile to my face nothing but seeing or hearing my girlfriend, who i think is going to break up with me because i went over to her house and when i left i forgot the pic she drew so i went back and her mom said to go in and get it. I go to her room and i didn't think to knock cause i just left, and she was undressing. I felt really bad and my stomach felt sick, the past 2 days she has been very distant from me. I just don't know what to do anymore.


Edited by Xenoki (09/15/08 12:15 AM)

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#326974 - 09/15/08 04:12 AM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hello Xenoki smile

I am very concerned about your post!

First, please try to calm down. Nothing ever stays the same.
Good and bad things happen, but that's life.

Never ever think that suicide is a way out, because things get better. Honestly!

Don't consider it ~ and if the idea rears its head ~ please get immediate help from a counsellor, or other reliable, trusted person.

The fact that you have even mentioned such an idea tells me that you need to mention this to your school counellor, anyway.

You say that the counsellor hasn't helped, but have you told him / her that suicide had even been on your mind?

You need to talk to them about this, get it off your chest & get some external thoughts on the idea.

You are 15 ~ and I get the impression that you are sensitive. I've been there! I used to suffer from stress, anxiety & depression throughout my teens. And meeting my boyfriend ~ now my husband ~ seemed to be the one thing that calmed me down!

It's down to all sorts of things ~ probably mainly hormones, but other things too. Other people seem to control your life. You are too old to be a child, but too young to be an adult.

Your parents may have worries, etc, etc.

And, of course, you must be worried about your Mum.

As for your parents, if your Mum is ill, with no hope of a cure, then she is likely to be feeling frightened, upset, angry and possibly even more stressed than you are. This in turn will make your Dad feel stressed.

They are probably worried about each other and about you. Maybe they don't know how to deal with this or how to express their feelings. Remember, adults are only grown up children. There is no reason why your parents shouldn't be feeling just as confused, stressed, upset, etc, as you are.

If your Dad is worried about your Mum's health, then he is bound to become angry if you shout at her. On the other hand, he does seem to understand, because you say that he sticks up for you.

What has now brought this to a head is the fact that you walked into your girlfriend's room while she was changing and you are worried that she ~ the one part of your life that brings you joy ~ will break up with you.

So you need to deal with this.
You need to apologise for what happened and reassure her that it was a mistake and that you had no idea that she was changing; that you thought that it was ok to come in, because her Mum sent you up, but that you realise that you should have knocked first and you are really sorry.
In fact, you should always knock, regardless ~ you have learned that now.

Get the message to her as quickly as you can. A letter would be good ~ but a text would be faster.

Is it possible, when your Dad is in a relaxed frame of mind, that you could talk to him ~ man to man.

Show him that you appreciate that he has worries & responsibilities, and that he is worried about your Mum. Explain that you are feeling depressed and worried & that things are getting to you & you are concerned that your grades are falling because of this.

Let him understand that you don't mean to upset your Mum, but that you are feeling very down, yourself, and that you need help to cope with it.

Do you fully understand your Mum's health problems?
Can she be helped?
Are things made worse or better by anything?
Is a quiet, personal chat with her a possibilty?

Good luck!

Make sure that you talk to your counsellor and tell him /her everything!
They cannot help if they don't know.

Take care of yourself!
Try to be positive!
You sound like a very nice lad, who has a great future ahead ~ just try to be a little patient. smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#326988 - 09/15/08 09:17 AM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: PDM]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
To most people who think they know me, I seem to be an extrovert, because I have learned to be somewhat outgoing. But the truth is that I am an introvert. I am fairly shy about revealing who I really am and about finding out if people I think are special feel the same way about me.

I have many strengths and many people like and love me. And I've learned to feel good about that.

But I have weaknesses also, which if I allow myself, can spiral me down into being down on myself and life.

One weakness is that I "read into" the words and actions of others what I think they mean. I'm afraid to just ask them if they mean "so and so," so I think and think about what they mean, and am fairly convinced that they don't like me, or even that they are making fun of me.

I have got into arguments even here on this board (in the past) because of thinking I knew what others thought.

I know it's not easy for you, but try to open up with one person (and then 2, and then 3). Start with being honest with yourself, and ask yourself this. Since you know your ENTIRE life, including the difficulties that you've overcome, can you give yourself a break and forgive yourself for shortcomings, and even like yourself? Can you be willing to like yourself? And then pick one: a counselor (at school, or church), that girl you mentioned, your parent(s). A good place to begin discussion (I think) would be a print-out of this topic/thread discussion.

And if you can't do this today, at least think about it.

In the mean time, consider this: I think you're okay. You write well and seem quite sincere and honest.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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#327067 - 09/15/08 05:17 PM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I think that he is a decent, good honest, bright lad, too.
(I have sent him a PM)
He has a lot going for him, and I think, when he is just a little older, and has come to terms with teenage angst, and feels more in control of his life, he will blossom.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#337727 - 11/14/08 04:52 PM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: PDM]
I Hear You Offline
New Member

Registered: 11/14/08
Posts: 2
I was also 15 while taking care of a mother yelled at me all the time, and a family that just said "Shes sick, she does not mean it" and I know to pain you must be feeling. It sounds like you are taking all of this abuse personally. and as you might have heard already, she is actually mad at herself and taking it out on you. She is in misery, and it is her that needs to talk to a profesional not you. My best advice is to find a way to speak to her doctor personally and alone, and make sure that he knows how your mother is reacting to this illness. Not what it is doing to you, but how it is hurting her to be this way. He needs to insist that she get counsling to help her deal with her Problem. If she gets help, you will get the releif you need. And also do not feel guilty for feeling this way.

My family never knew what I went through. But it made me a stronger person in the end. Life got better, and it will for you.

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#337737 - 11/14/08 05:47 PM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: I Hear You]
london blue rose Offline
Friend

Registered: 10/24/08
Posts: 205
Loc: NEW YORK
get to the counseler in your school asap. these people can point you in the right direction. your parents need to be told how you are being effected by this situation. tell the school now.
_________________________
PISCES THE DREAMER

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#337751 - 11/14/08 06:36 PM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: I Hear You]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: I Hear You
.... My family never knew what I went through. But it made me a stronger person in the end. Life got better, and it will for you.

Welcome to the forum smile
It's good to hear that you have come through your problems successfully.
I'm sure that your words will be encouraging for Xenoki.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#337752 - 11/14/08 06:38 PM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: london blue rose]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: london blue rose
get to the counseler in your school asap. these people can point you in the right direction. your parents need to be told how you are being effected by this situation. tell the school now.

He told his school counsellor, who offered little or no help, unfortunately.
However, his father has sorted out someone more helpful for him. Hopefully things will improve from now on.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#337804 - 11/14/08 10:32 PM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: I Hear You]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Originally Posted By: I Hear You
I was also 15 while taking care of a mother yelled at me all the time, and a family that just said "Shes sick, she does not mean it" and I know to pain you must be feeling. It sounds like you are taking all of this abuse personally. and as you might have heard already, she is actually mad at herself and taking it out on you. She is in misery, and it is her that needs to talk to a profesional not you. My best advice is to find a way to speak to her doctor personally and alone, and make sure that he knows how your mother is reacting to this illness. Not what it is doing to you, but how it is hurting her to be this way. He needs to insist that she get counsling to help her deal with her Problem. If she gets help, you will get the releif you need. And also do not feel guilty for feeling this way.

My family never knew what I went through. But it made me a stronger person in the end. Life got better, and it will for you.


I appreciated what you had to say, I Hear You.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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#337830 - 11/15/08 09:19 AM Re: HELP ME!!! [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Yes, I hear you, as I said on the other thread, if there are matters which are of concern to you, and you would like any of us to discuss them with you ~ perhaps to help you get closure, or just to discover other opinions, then we can start a new thread, where just your concerns can be addressed.
What do you think? smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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