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#344049 - 12/28/08 06:02 AM Drifting apart...
УK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
How can i make my relationship stronger? It seems like that me and my girlfriend are drifting apart. I am so afraid that if we get too distant then i will lose her. I lost her once before and it broke my heart. i couldn't stand having it broken again. Please give me some advice to help us get closer again.

Thank you,
Jasper

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#344060 - 12/28/08 03:23 PM Re: Drifting apart... [Re: УK1674]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Do you talk?

Go to her, tell her you want a hug. Standing, a full hug, with handrubs on the back, and with no hurrying, and not trying to "make out."

Then sit with her, and share with her what you have just shared with us. Ask her what you can do. Maybe you need regular times of talking. Maybe you need to do things together. Maybe you need to do things she likes to do, or the both of you like.

Do you have financial or other worries that are causing stress? Are you doing things that she may interpret as you don't care as much for her?

Perhaps some renewed commitment on your part is needed.

Also, little romantic and/or thoughtful things can signal to her that you love her, and that she is important to you.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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#344094 - 12/28/08 08:47 PM Re: Drifting apart... [Re: Carl]
УK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I should have given a bit more detail. We are only 15 and its a long distance relationship and her parents hardly ever let us get together. We only live 20 miles apart and we text all the time but it still feels like we are drifting away from each other...

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#344106 - 12/28/08 09:25 PM Re: Drifting apart... [Re: УK1674]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Not your fault. I should not have assumed your age.

I'm not going to say that it's not important - because of your ages. But I will say that the "coming of age" process will bring lots of different experiences to each of you. There will probably be lots of "drifting away" as well as "growing closer" as time goes on.

If the friendship continues, that will be something to be thankful for. If somehow it becomes a thing of the past, then it is also something to be thankful for. It is part of your life.

I think I mentioned that I am 65. While my memory is good, I still remember ALL of the females I have loved. And I treasure all the memories.

May your experiences and memories be good.

_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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#344124 - 12/28/08 10:16 PM Re: Drifting apart... [Re: Carl]
LordsLady Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 06/11/06
Posts: 1926
Loc: Florida
Jasper, you received some very good advice from Carl. I am not as "mature" as my buddy Carl, but I can tell you that after being married for nearly 39 years, it never gets easier. However, I believe my marriage has survived for two reasons; first and foremost there has ALWAYS been good communication; secondly, in the last 30 years we turned our lives over to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. When we established a relationship with God, our marriage grew stronger and has survived thru many trials.

Go with Carl's suggestions. Talk, although some may say it is cheap, it is the cornerstone of every good relationship.

Blessings,

Emilie
_________________________
To one with faith,no explanation is needed.To one without faith no explanation is possible. Aquinas

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#344127 - 12/28/08 10:52 PM Re: Drifting apart... [Re: LordsLady]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hello J.

Yes, I think that Carl's advice is good, even if you can only take advantage of some of it, on the occasions when you meet up.

But the sharing your concerns bit ~ that is still possible.

Do you think that she feels that you are drifting apart, too?

I know how important this relationship is to you and I hope that it will stand the test of time. smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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