RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? Been with bf for a year - have a question

He was married for three years and his ex still continues to send cards and pictures and he keeps them out on the mantle. I don't mind them out for awhile, but I think they should be put away after the holidays. He even has some pictures of just them on top of his tv, which I believe he was showing me one time, and even those should be put away. He keeps pictures and cards from everyone and I don't mind, I just don't feel I need to see them. Does anyone agree with me?

Hi Christy3 & welcome

It's good that he and his wife didn't part on bitter terms, but I can understand, as his current partner of one year, that you wouldn't want this past relationship to be constantly paraded before you.

Were there children involved?

Who / what is in the photos that she sends & that he exhibits?

Are the cards sent for Christmas & birthdays?
Does he display them for longer than the usual period?

Does he see his ex-wife, or just get letters & cards ~ presumably containing notes from her??

I'm wondering ~ could it be that he wants to prove to you that his current relationship with her is simply one of innocent friendship, and that he has nothing to hide from you?

I can understand your point of view. He has Christmas cards and Easter cards he has not put away from even the last holidays. Sometimes they even e-mail each other, just to see what is going on. She has children. While she was with him, she had her daughter (6) and now she has a baby with someone else (she is not with him either). Several pictures that are lying around are just of the two of them. I realize that he is not the most organized and forgets to put away things, including pictures, but seeing these pictures for some reason makes me feel like I don't measure up. It makes me upset. He wants to take our relationship further and all I see is pictures of his ex all over his house. I know it sounds crazy. I am not usually a jealous person, but seeing her pictures (in which she has the same smile and always looks perfect) just makes me feel inadequate. P.S. Thanks for the welcome.

I think the first thing you should do is talk to him about it. You don't sound angry, and so try not to come off as being angry to him. But you should definently talk to him about how you feel. Men can be very dense sometimes, and chances are that if you do not say something, he will never know how you feel.

You also have to understand that she probably means a lot to him, especially if he has a daughter with her. The part of his life that she was in was major for him. Marriage is a big thing to enter into, and an even bigger thing to end.

You should probably be happy that there is not a bad relationship between him and his ex-wife. Things could be a lot worse.

I think that you should also be happy he is not trying to hide that stage of his life from you. I think that he is trying to share with you those memories, which probably means that he looks back upon them with fondness, and wants to share this happiness with you.

I understand how you feel when you look at pictures of her, and of them together. Try to keep reminding yourself that he is with you now. The paticular stage of his life is behind you. And you are his present and his future, instead of his past. He wants to be with you now; he wants to move forward in his relationship with you.

But first and foremost, you should really talk to him. Its not going to be easy to bring up your feelings to him. But once you do, i'm sure you will be very reassured and content.

I hope everything works out with you. And that my advice helped atleast a little bit.

Thanks, Kelsey. I will. He did not, however, have a daughter with her. He was only married for three years. (divorced in 2005) She came into the marriage with a daughter, which he helped raise while he was married to her. Then when they divorced she married someone else (married only 1 year and she is now divorced from him, but she has a son with this husband). I will let him know how I feel. It is hard talking to him because he doesn't open up very easily. I will do my best. Thanks for the advice.

Yes, Christy, I agree with Kelsey ~ have a chat with him about it.

I hope that it all goes well

Thanks PDM. I will take all the advice I can get.