Hello Beutifuldisaster ~ welcome to the forum.
I get the impression that men are generally less ready to settle down than women are, when it comes to marriage. I know that this is a generalisation, & I don't usually find these helpful, but I do get this impression.
In your case, though, you already have the commitment of a shared child - plus your child from a previous relationship. I notice, though, that you had only been together a matter of a few weeks when the baby was conceived. How did your boyfriend take this?
Could it be that, for now, he is happy with you, but that he is not yet sure that he sees you together for the rest of your lives? This could be the case, especially if he is quite young. I have seen this sort of thing happen before ~ even when the couple was married. The young man simply could not cope with all that marriage & fatherhood threw at him.
I really doubt that it has anything to do with your cooking ability. I can't cook and I have been with my husband for 34 years!!
The fact that you don't see much of each other is not great. Do you try to go on 'dates' ~ just the two of you ~ from time to time? Do you have a reliable babysitter?
'Our sex life is okay, but he wants to spice things up by involving other couples. I'm not okay with that just yet. I seriously thought it was me at first, but then i can see it as spicing things up.'
Oh, yes, that certainly sounds very spicy!
But I wonder why.
You have only been together a year & you have recently given birth ~ and he wants an orgy!!??
I think that you need to be very clear about how you feel about this, and about why he wants it. It just does not sound like the sort of thing a new father and devoted partner would suggest.
I really don't think that you can 'get him ready for marriage'. Most men who are reluctant worry about commitment, responsibility and having children. He says that he doesn't plan to leave you, so why not marry you ~ he already has the commitment and responsibility ~ or does he?
Does he think that it would be easier to get out, if he is not married, should he feel unable to cope.
If he is committed to your relationship, why does he want to involve other people in your personal and private love life?
I know that some people do this, but you say that it is not what you want ~ and, personally, I cannot see how a new father could suggest this to the mother of his recently-born child?
You say that you are insecure; did this make you feel more so? Or not?
Were you angry, or upset, when he said this?
There are some questions you might need to answer.
Are you certain that he loves you & the kids enough to stay with you for ever?
Why does he want to involve other people in your love life?
(It must bother you for you to mention it.)
Many couples live together, seeing no need for 'a piece of paper'. Does this apply to him, perhaps?
How old are you both, by the way?