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#381052 - 08/22/09 02:20 PM Did i mess up my friendship?
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I have been friends with this girl i like for about a year now and i really like her and she has told me that she feels the same way. I really want to be more than friends and have wanted this for a while. Well yesterday i was walking her to her friends house and my house was on the way there so we stopped at my house for a bit. we were just talking and hanging out in my room and it was about time for her to head off to her friends house. Me being the flirt i am was holding onto her backpack straps and pulled her towards me and she fell on top of me.

We both thought it was funny and didn't think much of it and it was entertaining so i kept holding onto the straps of her backpack and she didn't mind. Well she got turned on by this and she started to bite my chest and neck and that went on for a few minutes. Nothing more than that happened and i finally let her up and walked her to the door and i gave her a hug a then i kissed her and she kissed me back.

Since we both like each other it doesn't seem like it a bad thing but she has a boyfriend. After we kissed she said she had to leave and left in a hurry. I feel really bad because i knew that she had a boyfriend. I tried to talk to her about it today and she was just ignoring my text message so i messaged her telling i was sorry. She told me that she might not be able to forgive me because i almost ruined her relationship.

I am really afraid that i lost my last true friend because of what i did. I really wish that i could take it back but i can't... I can't lose her... please help me get my friend back.

Thank you,

Jeremy

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#381091 - 08/22/09 08:39 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
Will someone please help me. This is eating me up inside. I really don't want to lose her as a friend.

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#381183 - 08/23/09 05:21 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
Pudgie's mom
Unregistered


Jeremy, I think it might be best to just give her some time and space to think it all over. She is probably very confused, inside, and needs to "process" everything that happened. If you bide your time and wait to let her start talking with you, it will be less pushy.

Also -- you said: "She told me that she might not be able to forgive me because i almost ruined her relationship." Just my opinion here, but it sounds like it wasn't all your fault. It sounds like she's putting all the blame on you, but "it takes two to tango," as the old saying goes.

She might be mad at herself, actually, and is just lashing out at you until she thinks it all over...

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#381203 - 08/23/09 06:38 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: ]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I made a black Kawasaki rose (very hard origami rose) and i was going to give it to her tomorrow and tell i was sorry and try and talk to her. Do you think that is a good idea?

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#381209 - 08/23/09 06:44 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
**mattie** Offline
Long Time Friend

Registered: 05/20/09
Posts: 761
Loc: White Plains, NY
I never dated in high school or college, so I have no experience!
I met someone after I finished college and had a job up and running.

That is a verrrry hard origami piece.
Takes forever!
*yawn* LOL

That sounds like such a good idea.
Others to please share advice?

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#381226 - 08/23/09 07:52 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: **mattie**]
dreamer5 Offline
Regular

Registered: 08/12/09
Posts: 73
Loc: pennsylvania :)
just give her some space. she's probably feeling guilty bcuz she has a bf and she basically just cheated on him... but on the other hand she probably realized that she really likes you. and dont make her choose sides or anything like that. just be honest and dont pressure her... and the origami thing sounds wonderful!

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#381229 - 08/23/09 08:14 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: dreamer5]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I'm going to try to talk to her tomorrow. I know that she likes me but i hope she likes me as much as i like her. I can't get her out of my head and i want to feel the feeling i felt when we kissed. It was like a spark or something. I really don't know how to describe it.

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#381230 - 08/23/09 08:21 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: dreamer5]
baby blue Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 03/24/09
Posts: 2161
Loc: alberta, canada
the way i look at it, she is not being a good friend to you. she is telling you that she may not forgive you because YOU almost ruined HER relationship??? sorry if this upsets you, but with friends like that, who needs enemies? in the future, what else will she be able to do and then turn around and blame you for?
just be careful, if she will do it to him, (basically cheat), she will do it to you, (lead you on)... both of which were her decision, (it doesn't sound like you forced her) i would be pretty leery and take it very slowly. she made her own bad decision and has put the blame solely on you. deception can be a destructive thing. i see no harm in being friends but i do see harm in deception. the rose idea is very, very nice, but why would you chase her when she blatantly blamed you for something she did? please be careful ok?
_________________________
baby blue

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#381231 - 08/23/09 08:43 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: baby blue]
ßÄУµÇK1674 Offline
Regular

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 98
Loc: California
I have known her for a while and one thing she's not is a cheater. She is blaming me for it probably because she feels guilty and its her way of making her feel less guilty. She isn't the kind of girl to hurt people. The reason I am chasing her is because before I kissed her I liked her quite a bit, but when i kissed her i felt something with her i haven't felt with anyone before. I felt something similar with my first girlfriend but this time it was alot stronger. She might have felt the same thing and it could have scared her. but i really don't know how she is feeling until I talk to her tomorrow.

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#381256 - 08/23/09 10:46 PM Re: Did i mess up my friendship? [Re: ßÄУµÇK1674]
baby blue Offline
Soulmate

Registered: 03/24/09
Posts: 2161
Loc: alberta, canada
the thing that worries me is that she is putting her heart before yours, when it should be equal. and i do have to repeat that i don't agree with anyone using anyone that way. i have been in that position and i was where you are. i was the one who ended up with my life changed, big time... and not for the better either. just think hard with your head too, not with only your heart. if i had done that when i was a young person, i wouldn't be in the mess i am now as a grown person.think hard, don't kid yourself and if you think it is still what you want to do.... it is your choice. if it works, i'll be thrilled for you, good luck .maybe there will be some more news tomorrow.:)
_________________________
baby blue

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