RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating Did i mess up my friendship?

I have been friends with this girl i like for about a year now and i really like her and she has told me that she feels the same way. I really want to be more than friends and have wanted this for a while. Well yesterday i was walking her to her friends house and my house was on the way there so we stopped at my house for a bit. we were just talking and hanging out in my room and it was about time for her to head off to her friends house. Me being the flirt i am was holding onto her backpack straps and pulled her towards me and she fell on top of me.

We both thought it was funny and didn't think much of it and it was entertaining so i kept holding onto the straps of her backpack and she didn't mind. Well she got turned on by this and she started to bite my chest and neck and that went on for a few minutes. Nothing more than that happened and i finally let her up and walked her to the door and i gave her a hug a then i kissed her and she kissed me back.

Since we both like each other it doesn't seem like it a bad thing but she has a boyfriend. After we kissed she said she had to leave and left in a hurry. I feel really bad because i knew that she had a boyfriend. I tried to talk to her about it today and she was just ignoring my text message so i messaged her telling i was sorry. She told me that she might not be able to forgive me because i almost ruined her relationship.

I am really afraid that i lost my last true friend because of what i did. I really wish that i could take it back but i can't... I can't lose her... please help me get my friend back.

Thank you,

Jeremy

Will someone please help me. This is eating me up inside. I really don't want to lose her as a friend.

Jeremy, I think it might be best to just give her some time and space to think it all over. She is probably very confused, inside, and needs to "process" everything that happened. If you bide your time and wait to let her start talking with you, it will be less pushy.

Also -- you said: "She told me that she might not be able to forgive me because i almost ruined her relationship." Just my opinion here, but it sounds like it wasn't all your fault. It sounds like she's putting all the blame on you, but "it takes two to tango," as the old saying goes.

She might be mad at herself, actually, and is just lashing out at you until she thinks it all over...

I made a black Kawasaki rose (very hard origami rose) and i was going to give it to her tomorrow and tell i was sorry and try and talk to her. Do you think that is a good idea?

I never dated in high school or college, so I have no experience!
I met someone after I finished college and had a job up and running.

That is a verrrry hard origami piece.
Takes forever!
*yawn* LOL

That sounds like such a good idea.
Others to please share advice?

just give her some space. she's probably feeling guilty bcuz she has a bf and she basically just cheated on him... but on the other hand she probably realized that she really likes you. and dont make her choose sides or anything like that. just be honest and dont pressure her... and the origami thing sounds wonderful!

I'm going to try to talk to her tomorrow. I know that she likes me but i hope she likes me as much as i like her. I can't get her out of my head and i want to feel the feeling i felt when we kissed. It was like a spark or something. I really don't know how to describe it.

the way i look at it, she is not being a good friend to you. she is telling you that she may not forgive you because YOU almost ruined HER relationship??? sorry if this upsets you, but with friends like that, who needs enemies? in the future, what else will she be able to do and then turn around and blame you for?
just be careful, if she will do it to him, (basically cheat), she will do it to you, (lead you on)... both of which were her decision, (it doesn't sound like you forced her) i would be pretty leery and take it very slowly. she made her own bad decision and has put the blame solely on you. deception can be a destructive thing. i see no harm in being friends but i do see harm in deception. the rose idea is very, very nice, but why would you chase her when she blatantly blamed you for something she did? please be careful ok?

I have known her for a while and one thing she's not is a cheater. She is blaming me for it probably because she feels guilty and its her way of making her feel less guilty. She isn't the kind of girl to hurt people. The reason I am chasing her is because before I kissed her I liked her quite a bit, but when i kissed her i felt something with her i haven't felt with anyone before. I felt something similar with my first girlfriend but this time it was alot stronger. She might have felt the same thing and it could have scared her. but i really don't know how she is feeling until I talk to her tomorrow.

the thing that worries me is that she is putting her heart before yours, when it should be equal. and i do have to repeat that i don't agree with anyone using anyone that way. i have been in that position and i was where you are. i was the one who ended up with my life changed, big time... and not for the better either. just think hard with your head too, not with only your heart. if i had done that when i was a young person, i wouldn't be in the mess i am now as a grown person.think hard, don't kid yourself and if you think it is still what you want to do.... it is your choice. if it works, i'll be thrilled for you, good luck .maybe there will be some more news tomorrow.:)

Yea I'll post how it goes. I have been somewhat hardened from past relationships since they have always ended in some ...... way be it completely ignoring me as her way of dumping me to having sex with some random guy while i was in Seattle. Oh or my favorite "god told me we shouldn't be together" lol. I'm going to tell her that I don't regret what happened because it made me realize how much a actually like her and that I hope she feels the same. If not then we will remain friends.

i hope it works out and if you two are going to be active, make sure you protect her and yourself. there are alot of nasty things that can be "met" once and you are stuck with forever. not to mention a child that you are not ready for. if you aren't going to be giving yourself the best protection (abstinence) at least protect yourself in other ways. by the way, how old are you? if you don't want to say you don't have to, but do yourself a favor...stay away from sex until you are at least 18. trust me, been there done that. it is definitely not all it's cracked up to be.

Yea i am 16 and she is 14...wow sounds kinda weird...anyways i have already lost my virginity to my ex-girlfriend and it was...disappointing. So sex doesn't actually interest me for the time being. I am sitting here in my bed trying to get to sleep but she is just in my mind and I just can't get to sleep.

Well here is what happened.

I went to where she is in the morning and I told her that we need to talk and she completely ignored me. I said please talk to me for just five minutes. She told me to go away and then her friends started to be jerks towards me so i left.

I guess I just have to wait it out and see what happens. Even my friends told me that it isn't my fault completely, except Ken who said no matter what happens its always the guys fault. I laughed.

I really, really think that you might want to take some time in your life to try to let go of her, in your thoughts ---- try to focus on activities, other people, etc. She's only 14 and sounds pretty confused (and rude to you). I think you are absolutely right about this: [quote=ßÄУµÇK1674] She is blaming me for it probably because she feels guilty and its her way of making her feel less guilty. [/quote] So maybe she needs some time and space to grow up, and maybe you need to focus on yourself and your own growing/learning/confidence... :)

I will get over it in time and i know this isn't the last time i am going to get hurt. Every thing happens for a reason and maybe this will somehow lead me the right girl or keep me away from the wrong girl. All i can do is wait and see where the road i am on leads me.

with your ages, i know you have heard it all before but, it is the best advice... live for yourself now and for a while yet. a few more years are needed for you to know what you really want and need. i got involved at 16, got pregnant and "knew" i had found my soul mate and had the beautiful family i had dreamed of. it wasn't a dream it was a nightmare of the worst kind. i ruined my life because i didn't think with my head, never listened to people who loved and wanted the best for me and had "been there, done that" and said "i am old enough to know what i want" i was old enough to know some things, but of life and relationships... i had no clue. i am now 40 and living with my parents, unemployed and terrified because i have to go back to school.
like i said before, you don't want someone like her, she is only 14 and is already a game player and a user. you deserve a person who thinks of you as an equal, doesn't;t play games with you and is not cruel. you have a heart obviously, of you wouldn't have looked for help. believe in yourself and build up the good person you are becoming and find out who you are. if you don't know who you really are... can anyone else? don't be a door mat for anyone and most of all, love yourself first and then the right person will arrive who will love you for who you are and never do wrong by you. it takes time, but that is all we have so let it do it's job. good luck and be strong

Now i really don't even care if i become more than a friend. The thing that hurts the most is that she was the closest friend I had. Now because of something stupid i lost her. That is the main thing eating me up inside.

[quote=ßÄУµÇK1674]I will get over it in time and i know this isn't the last time i am going to get hurt. Every thing happens for a reason and maybe this will somehow lead me the right girl or keep me away from the wrong girl. All i can do is wait and see where the road i am on leads me. [/quote] Yes, you are young & you are learning all the time. This is a positive way of looking at things. Fourteen is very, very young ~ little more than a child. Don't expect a child to think, or bahave, like an adult. Give her time & maybe your friendship can be restored. Take care :)