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#397690 - 03/25/10 08:41 PM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: tweetymom]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
The moving thing is just something that happens a lot when you live with Dan (my DH). I am so sick of it. But I like being back in the RV.

The feral cat....still pregnant. I want to take her with us but Dan is against it. We will see how things fall out. I don't know how an outdoor cat will get by in a traveling RV. I am willing to try but not willing for Dan to be a PITA about it.

So we will just live and travel in Serenity, the RV. We will be going to CA and OR this summer. :-)

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Jilly


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#397691 - 03/25/10 08:45 PM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: tweetymom]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
I think grief counseling is a really good idea. There is nothing wrong with how you feel, but you should not be dwelling on the sorrow to the point that it interferes with living. I am sorry for your pain and loss.

I think avoiding sad things is a normal coping mechanism. Eventually you won't have to do that, but it does help right now.

I have been managing stress by reaching out to friends (mostly via IM on email or Facebook), going for walks and hikes, taking photos of nature, reading something recreational, doing yoga and taking naps when I need to.

What seems to work for you?

Originally Posted By: tweetymom
As far as relieving stress, since my Merlin passed, I have not gotten back to any routine. Really I sort of (sometimes) flail about, not having a plan or whatever! I'm trying to get a handle on that but I forget to think of it a lot of the time. I'm not so pitiful any more so much. But I still have my times of stressing out over the fact that he is gone and will not be back! LOL. I'm being light here because I hate sinking into that abyss. I avoid all things sad now, generally. Sometimes when I start thinking about it or see something sad on TV, I just have to jump up (literally) and say to myself " No no no I'm NOT going to do this"!

So I'm considering getting some grief counseling soon. I guess that would be in the category of relieving stress. Or managing it.

What is your method of stress management?
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Jilly


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#397705 - 03/26/10 12:39 AM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: jilly]
tweetymom Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 1663
Loc: Austin, Texas
Looking back to before Merlin started getting old, a couple years ago I stopped doing anything but trying to help him feel better. I stopped going anywhere I didn't have to go. Generally, just being with him. He got to where he wasn't good riding in the car. I felt that he had given me so many wonderful years, that I owed him that much. And I loved him. I didn't resent anything I did for him. I realized at the time, that it could be said that this was not a good thing, but I don't see how i could have done it any differently! And I wouldn't have had it any other way! Still feel that way.

Today on here, several members have had losses and I cried my eyes out. I started to reply to each one, then decided not to reply to any of them. I really relate and feel their losses, but I just can't go there yet! I don't know if I'm supposed to cry with my cataract removal, but I did tonight.

Now that he is gone, I sort of feel reluctant to do things I couldn't do, like I would be tossing his memory to the side. I know that THIS is not right! So that is why I'm going to the grief counseling. I have an appt. already.

Before all that, I was able to just get a grip on myself, and surge forward!, if you can understand that. I've always been into self-control and being in control of myself and my life is very important to me.

Like any self-respecting aging flower child, new age person, whatever, I have learned a lot of things over the years to manage stress. Yoga and stretching work good for me. Also talking to myself, out loud. I hope going to the grief counseling will help me get back to a place where I can live my life without falling apart every time i hear a sad thing, reminding me of Merlin.
_________________________
Dinah, Tweetymom

RIP precious Merlin
7/11/1990-11/17/2009
RIP Tweetylove
5/13/2010
Rest with Merlin

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#397709 - 03/26/10 09:47 AM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: tweetymom]
preciousbaby Offline
Friend

Registered: 04/27/07
Posts: 256
Loc: utica, ny
Hi Honey! My heart goes out to you as I just lost my Precious Baby girl after four years of our life together. I do realize how you feel. Let's focus on the positive things you still have in life. Start a gratitude list and see if that might help. For example, I will now be grateful for the love she provided to me after my divorce. I was a mess, and I remember Baby kissed my tears when I went near the cage. She was such a gift from God!!!
Happy Friday, Dinah!!!
Joni
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#397744 - 03/26/10 08:38 PM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: preciousbaby]
tweetymom Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 1663
Loc: Austin, Texas
He passed in Nov, 09, and I still can't think of anything having to do with it without falling apart and crying again! Thinking of the positive things is about that in a a big way. So that is why I'm going to get the grief counseling.

Thanks for your kind words. I am so sorry you lost your Precious Baby! I felt your pain while reading your story. In fact, it kind of scared me when I thought of the fact that she had to have her surgery. That's why I did not reply to any of the members who have had losses this week; I do not have any advise for you. In fact, I am still sort of mad at God or whoever for making it this way! I am a mess and I know it.

I feel that the only thing that saves me from going off the deep end (whatever that means, LOL) is that I still have 4 budgies and 4 cats! They do love me very much and i love them very much too. I am glad I have them! I'm glad you have Blossom!

See, i didn't reply earlier because I didn't want it to be all about poor me, and here I've done just that! Sorry. If nothing else, it lets you know that you are not alone! And the members on here have been as wonderful and awesome as they could be!

Jilly, I'm sorry to have hi jacked your thread! So to redeem myself with you I am going to do some Yoga and stretches as soon as I get off of here!! smile

I DO feel fortunate for being able to have him for 18 years!
_________________________
Dinah, Tweetymom

RIP precious Merlin
7/11/1990-11/17/2009
RIP Tweetylove
5/13/2010
Rest with Merlin

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#397749 - 03/26/10 10:21 PM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: tweetymom]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I hope that the counselling will help, Dinah smile


Edited by PDM (03/26/10 11:34 PM)
Edit Reason: typo
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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#397750 - 03/26/10 10:28 PM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: PDM]
tweetymom Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 1663
Loc: Austin, Texas
Thanks PDM. My appt is on April 2, and I will update you on how that goes. I have no idea what to expect, and I hope they will not think it frivolous that it is about losing a pet!! We shall see.
_________________________
Dinah, Tweetymom

RIP precious Merlin
7/11/1990-11/17/2009
RIP Tweetylove
5/13/2010
Rest with Merlin

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#397755 - 03/27/10 01:27 AM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: tweetymom]
Lisa Shea Online   content

Gold Star Soulmate

Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 6017
Loc: US
It is definitely very rough to lose a loved pet. I have Hamlet's ashes on the mantle and I still touch the box when I go past. I miss him greatly. It was very sudden when he passed, one minute he was there curled up at my feet, the next minute he was on his last minutes. Somehow you find a place where you miss him and remember him, but you keep going forward.
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Lisa Shea, Owner

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#397805 - 03/27/10 03:50 PM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: Lisa Shea]
tweetymom Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 1663
Loc: Austin, Texas
Lisa I think you must've had a worse few months than I. You seem to have a better handle on it than I, though. I see that and my hat goes off to you!

On managing my stress: Today I was thinking of this thread, and remembered that I have a couple of "stress" relieving things, that I forgot they existed! One of them is an Acupressure thing that goes around your neck that has low to high settings, and heat, and vibrates and works good. Another one I have is a whole body Acupressure thing, and it has a rolling effect that goes up and down your spine, and it works good too! Maybe I'm beginning to come out of my fog!

So I'm going to get those out today and see how that goes! Although sometimes I have a hard time siting there doing that. LOL. Haha. That sounds mental, huh?
_________________________
Dinah, Tweetymom

RIP precious Merlin
7/11/1990-11/17/2009
RIP Tweetylove
5/13/2010
Rest with Merlin

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#397807 - 03/27/10 04:02 PM Re: Going inside, going outside, to relieve stress [Re: tweetymom]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
Dinah, do it! Totally do it now. Go make yourself relax, and remind yourself that Jill and Lisa are telling you to do so. :-)
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Jilly


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