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#398911 - 04/12/10 01:09 AM first timer
XxAnthonyxX Offline
New Member

Registered: 04/12/10
Posts: 1
well okay first of all let me say this is my first time read or posting anything so here goes.

first things first, here is what's going on. here recently me and a girl i have liked since middle school recently started talking again. after years of bad timing and the same old school drama we finally got to go out. i called her one day not to long ago when i got out of college early because my teacher didn't show up. we had been talking online for a few hours before because she skipped school and i had blow off classes so i was online. anyways one thing led to another and i called her on my way home. she lives fairly close to me so i stopped by and picked her up to go grab some food.

everything went really well, we had a GREAT time, and what was supposed to be just casual lunch turned into a date.

I can't even begin to tell you how awesome it was, truly i had been waiting for that for years. i always thought that she was out of my league to be honest. anyways...

she called me the next day and invited me to go see her younger siblings baseball games and of course, i did. every moment with this girl just drive me nuts. after the games ended and everything we sat on the back of my truck for like four hours just talking, catching up on old times and everything that had happened. after about ten minutes of arguing i got my lettermen on her and drove her home. everything was perfect and we sad on my truck again when we got to her house. the stars were out and beautiful.

after another hour of talking she looked at me and said thank you. she said she was more comfortable around me then anyone before and that she'd like to see me tomorrow. i agreed and kissed her goodnight. tomorrow came around but when i called her she didn't pick up.

instead she got online and told me she wanted to let me know she didn't have her phone and told me she liked me but that she wasn't over her ex, she is sorry for messing everything up, and told me not to wait around on for her.

now that about killed me because i've had feelings for her for a very long time and even though i don't mind waiting for her because i have for so long and that's probably what i'll end up doing anyways. i cant help but wonder if there is anything i can do?

she's not talking to me now and it's been a few days. how can i tell her i want to wait and i want to be the one to help her back up on her feet when she's ready? is there ANYTHING i can do? i really care for this girl, always have.

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#399094 - 04/15/10 11:43 AM Re: first timer [Re: XxAnthonyxX]
Barak Offline
Regular

Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 64
Loc: Dallas, TX
Women are fickle, men will never figure them out. If you really want her, you must accept this female quality and learn to live with it. If you really want her, you must invest time and energy into the relationship. Don't try to "figure it out" because that rarely works. If you want it, fight for it; if she accepts, WOO-HOO, if she doesn't, move on. Life is for the living, it is not supposed to be a burden.

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#399099 - 04/15/10 02:21 PM Re: first timer [Re: XxAnthonyxX]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: XxAnthonyxX
.... after about ten minutes of arguing ....
Arguing?? I don't understand.

Originally Posted By: XxAnthonyxX
after another hour of talking she looked at me and said thank you. she said she was more comfortable around me then anyone before and that she'd like to see me tomorrow. i agreed and kissed her goodnight. tomorrow came around but when i called her she didn't pick up.

instead she got online and told me she wanted to let me know she didn't have her phone and told me she liked me but that she wasn't over her ex, she is sorry for messing everything up, and told me not to wait around on for her.

Sadly, it does seem that this sort of thing happens quite often.

Maybe she is confused about what she wants, or maybe there are other reasons which she hasn't told you about, or maybe she simply is an unreliable girl, or maybe she really likes you a lot and knows that she isn't fully over her ex and doesn't want to be unfair to you.

You are at school, so you must still be quite young and I think that this kind of thing can happen with teenagers, leaving one party completely bewildered. We have had many such examples posted on here.

If she is a genuinely nice person, she may be able to give you an explanation. If she cannot, or will not, then maybe she is not the girl you thought that she was ~ or maybe she simply cannot explain her feelings properly.

There is a difference between the unreal 'dream' girl and the real person. Maybe this one isn't going to live up to the dream and, if that is the case, then you will better off finding someone who cares and whom you can trust.

On the other hand, she may be completely genuine and really not want to hurt you, by being unsure, and maybe still having feelings for someone else.

I do tend to believe in giving people chances, though, if they seem deserving, and this girl may be genuine, and things may, possibly, at some stage, be ok again.

She may not talk to you because she doesn't know what to say ~
or even what to think.

Be wary, but not over-wary smile

Good luck! smile


_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#399100 - 04/15/10 02:23 PM Re: first timer [Re: Barak]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Barak
Women are fickle, men will never figure them out .....

Two generalisations!

I have found that generalisations are rarely helpful, and rarely true. smile

'Women are fickle ...'
Are they?
All of us?
Every single one?

'... men will never figure them out'
No man?
Ever?
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#399131 - 04/16/10 09:08 AM Re: first timer [Re: PDM]
Barak Offline
Regular

Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 64
Loc: Dallas, TX
My you criticize my opinions? I was not speaking to you.

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#399132 - 04/16/10 09:33 AM Re: first timer [Re: Barak]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I think, Barak, that it is unwise to generalise on any situation, where everyone in a particular group is 'put down'.

I also think that it is unwise to tell a teenage boy that: 'Women are fickle, men will never figure them out.'

In this context, I think that it could also be considered a sexist comment, wouldn't you agree? smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#399134 - 04/16/10 09:47 AM Re: first timer [Re: PDM]
Barak Offline
Regular

Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 64
Loc: Dallas, TX
I wasn't aware that I was "putting someone down". Women change their minds more often than men. It's just something men have to deal with. My comments were made to a male's perspective for his understanding and therefore, not sexist.

What is it that you have against me personally that you should seek to dispute my "opinion" at every occasion so quickly?

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#399155 - 04/16/10 05:20 PM Re: first timer [Re: Barak]
Lisa Shea Offline

Gold Star Soulmate

Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 6049
Loc: US
Barak -

I will address this issue via IM with you. Your stated responses are inappropriate for this forum, and it is better that I discuss this privately with you.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Owner

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