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#400157 - 05/01/10 03:13 AM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: tweetymom]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
Dinah, she so is. I love love love her. We even went to thrift stores together and she bought me MORE books. Good thing I read novels quickly; I only have a few thousand I think! :-)
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Jilly


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#400162 - 05/01/10 01:09 PM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: jilly]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: jilly
Yeah, PDM, here it's not a good thing as such. Here when you are enabling someone, It's like giving an alcoholic a drink. :-) ...

Hi Jilly smile
Thanks for the explanation smile
It makes sense now ~ well, sort of.

When I was teaching, etc, I considered myself to be 'an enabler' ~ which was a good thing. smile
Then I read, just the other day, an item from an American lady, warning people never to be 'enablers' ~ and I was totally baffled.
Then I saw you use it in what seemed to be the same way, Jilly, and I was equally confused. smile

Her definition seemed to be the same as yours.
But, I still do not really understand it. frown

Looking at Montessori education, for example, their 'teachers' are classed as 'enablers' ~ as defined in the Oxford dictionary, and I wonder how this meaning could have changed so much in the USA. 'Enable' seems to be quite a simple and straightforward word ~ meaning to make someone able. How did it come to mean something so different. Any ideas? It's quite confusing smile

http://www.indiaedu.com/education-india/montessori-education/
www.askoxford.com

_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#400169 - 05/01/10 02:38 PM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: PDM]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
I am sure it can be used either way. Somehow in the US it's simply common parlance as a way to illustrate behaviours that are a little parasitic instead of symbiotic. :-)
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Jilly


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#400174 - 05/01/10 07:13 PM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: jilly]
tweetymom Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 1663
Loc: Austin, Texas
First of all, let me say, SORRY to PDM. I was tickled but not laughing at you in a derogatory way! I feel real bad about that!

It must be confusing to you. I have been around a number of addicts and alcoholics or I wouldn't know either.

Enabling means to help or make it possible for them to continue to be addicted. Like, giving a place to live rent free (because they could use that money to drink). Or giving them money at all, because they could use it for their habit, instead of what you gave it to them for. you would not give them any help at all, hoping that they would reach their "bottom", as in "hit bottom, in which case they might seek help from AA, or The ARK or the Salvation Army and etc.

Again PDM, sorry. This may confuse you more and I'm sorry if it does. Maybe someone else can explain it better than I.
_________________________
Dinah, Tweetymom

RIP precious Merlin
7/11/1990-11/17/2009
RIP Tweetylove
5/13/2010
Rest with Merlin

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#400176 - 05/01/10 08:19 PM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: tweetymom]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hello Dinah smile
I wasn't offended ~ just confused, especially as I had come across this usage twice, just recently, and found myself baffled.
Of course to 'enable' someone could provide good or bad possibilities, but I have always, in the past, come across the positive version, so to come across this American usage seemed really odd. smile
I wonder if it confuses others as well?
As they say ~ we are divided by a common language smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#400178 - 05/02/10 03:02 AM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: PDM]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
On the hoarding books topic :-)

I really really have a whole lot of books. A few days ago I brought a lot of them out of the RV and into the empty house here. It felt good to lighten the load of what is in the RV itself...but MAN, do I have a lot of books. And then there's the massive amount of books I have in storage.

I don't think there is any way one human can actually read what I have. I honestly do not have time to sell them, unless it's at used bookstores in big batches. I don't have time to enter them onto ebay or amazon or craiglist, and field emails/phone calls, have ppl make visits or have to mail them somewhere.

I think I need to get realistic and just bring a ton to libraries or Goodwill. It's not fair to other people to hoard books that others could be learning from and enjoying. All i do is schlep them around the country from place to place when i move.

This is what I am starting to see. It seems pretty clear! Doesn't mean it will be easy though. :-) I have an emotional attachment to being surrounded by books.
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Jilly


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#400179 - 05/02/10 04:26 AM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: jilly]
tweetymom Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 1663
Loc: Austin, Texas
shocked smile
Aha! So you may be an actual book hoarder! hehe.

I do not agree with you about it being selfish to keep books though. If I buy them, I can keep them as long as I wish. No? And if I trade them, It's sort of like I bought THEM.

From an altruistic viewpoint it seems great if you want to give books to charities or sell them. I have done that with books I got (vacant apts) that I had no interest in, and many self-help books I had no interest in.

In your case, you do not have room to keep the many books you have.

In my case, I will make room for them (not as many as you). In fact I go through them regularly to see what I am dealing with and then I start trading them, which is gratifying to me. Reading is my favorite thing to do.

But again, I don't feel compelled to keep very many. If I don't have very many books to trade, I won't get very many new (to me) books to read.

What have you decided to do with them?

_________________________
Dinah, Tweetymom

RIP precious Merlin
7/11/1990-11/17/2009
RIP Tweetylove
5/13/2010
Rest with Merlin

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#400194 - 05/02/10 12:01 PM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: tweetymom]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
I hoard books. I admit it.
But in the way that a library hoards books.
They are there for my constant reference.

I love visiting libraries, but not really to borrow.
I tend to mislay borrowed books, or forget them, etc, and then I get huge fines.
And when I want to refer to something, I have returned it.

My ambition, when I was a child, was to own my own library, so that books were always on hand ~ with no fines.
And that is what I have.
I suppose I just need a house with a library-room ~ like those old-fashioned ones.
Then I would have no problem with my books!

I actually have thousands of them ~ literally!
I don't know how many. I counted about 3000 when we moved house in 1986 ~ and I have obtained many, many more since then!
Some are only thin pamphlet-type things; others are huge volumes.

I love books. I actually feel depressed without them.
There may be just a few that I would be willing to part with ~ but not many.

When the cat relieved herself on a box of them, they all went.
Most were just to read as an exercise in how to write that type of story, so there was no emotional attachment to them.
However, one was a favourite story ~ I may be able to get it again. That one does bother me.

Mostly, though, I buy books ~ in fact anything ~ only if I really want them. And I am the type of person who has always had the same interests ~ they just tend to grow, rather than change.

There are very few things that I own, that I don't actually want. I don't buy much jewellery or make-up. I don't drink or smoke. My books are me, in a way. Yet I know that I have too many for the space that I amd my family inhabit. frown
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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#400209 - 05/02/10 05:33 PM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: PDM]
tweetymom Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 1663
Loc: Austin, Texas
haha! That's two book hoarders! Maybe we need an organization for this habit, like BA, Books Anonamus (sp). lol

@ PDM, when your children leave the nest perhaps you will have space to have your library in it's own room.

@ Jilly, Dang girl. You need to win the lottery so you can buy a home for yourself, and travel with your man when you want to! That way, you could have your own library too, and keep all your books, AND keep your man!

You see? I am a terrible enabler! I want everyone close to me to have what they want, if possible. Thankfully, I got over that!
_________________________
Dinah, Tweetymom

RIP precious Merlin
7/11/1990-11/17/2009
RIP Tweetylove
5/13/2010
Rest with Merlin

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#400296 - 05/04/10 04:26 PM Re: Hoarding Books [Re: tweetymom]
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
Dinah I would love to have a home base for myself somewhere so i don't have to continue to be always rootless. :-)

And with a home base I can have more books!

WAIT, wrong direction....

Less is more, less is more...
_________________________
Jilly


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